A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:We are having trust issues because he decided to bring a girl home, got touchy feely with her and in his bed. Then he updates her with his new number after swearing he is not going to have anything to do with her again. I went through his phone and saw a message to his friend saying that he saw his ex at the club and is feeling emotional and she is the one that got away and she was the one that understands him best. His friend told him to better delete their text message for the fear of me seeing it. So I saw it, got really upset about it. He's always said I am the one who understands him the best and I just seem like I really do mean that much more to him than she ever did but I guess he didn't mean it? I guess it came off as a huge surprise considering when we first met, he said nothing but negative things about her and never spoken about her since. I've never even knew. His excuse is that he has a thing where he will make someone feel really bad for him so he bends the truth. I don't know if I should believe that? In that case, he is making his friend feel bad for him. Btw, we were having an argument that night when he saw his ex at the club. My question is should I still give him a chance despite all of this or should I just move on? It's been really difficult to me because he means a lot to me but I am having serious trust issues. I fear he will consistently lie to me and erase text messages and all of that but I feel really connected to him because we started off as good friends.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): I'd cut him from your life entirely. He's not mature enough to speak truthfully to you. He's not going to mature in a relationship with anyone who forgives this sort of behavior, so let him go so he can grow up and learn a serious lesson about honesty. He's just feeding you words you want to hear. He'll say he's sorry until the cows come home, but actions speak louder than words. I've dated one too many guy like this, and then finally met someone who doesn't necessarily flatter me with all these nice words all the time, but his actions say it all, and it's so much more respectable!!!
A
female
reader, curious0hot +, writes (31 January 2010):
 I think that you should just be friends with him. Too many things have added up, and he can't be trusted.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (31 January 2010):
 Griffo's advise was a little blunt, but accurate. This relationship has no future, you need to cut your losses and run, dont walk away from it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (31 January 2010):
I'll tell you what to believe. Believe his actions, because they're not lying. His words are lies, but his actions are telling you everything you need to know about him. He brought another woman home, got touchy feely with her and went to bed with her. You don't even know whether they had sex or not. You then asked him to cut contact, and he didn't. He gave her his new number. To top it off, there is a message on his phone saying he regrets losing his ex! You've given this guy three chances and he's blown them all. Do not fall for his lies. He's had three chances, and he's wasted them. End it and move on. You can do better.
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A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (31 January 2010):
 Tell him to pIss off. Then go get yourself a decent bloke who will treat you with respect. Save your dignity and move on.
This relationship has no future.
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