A
female
age
26-29,
*onelyTomboy
writes:Hi, Aunts,I'm a freakishly shy, eccentric tomboy, often mistaken as being lesbian because I don't flirt with guys. What they don't know is that I don't flirt with random people because I have been eternally dedicated to a boy for 6 years- a boy who barely knows I exist (I think).I'd just returned to my old school after being away for a while. Anxious and shy, I dreaded the upcoming school year. Then I heard his laughter some distance behind me and instantly felt better. Not much of love at first sight: more like love at first hearing.As a pre-teen in love for the first time, I denied my crush on him to myself. But when we ended up sitting next to each other in the only class we have in common, I discovered we were very much alike. We were both imaginative, artistic, hippy-ish, nature-loving, crystal-loving vegetarians. We had some differences, but we still paid attention to each other's interests.Something huge to me was how safe I felt with him. As a sufferer of panic attacks and social anxiety, it was wonderful to be around one person who seemed to chase it all away.Unfortunately, he left school before I could tell him how I feel and now our only means of contact is Whatsapp. My health gave in and I was forced to leave school, as well. I've seen him once briefly since January, but I'm still very attached to him. I don't know how to communicate well via messaging and I can't stand groups, but I hate being alone. I want to spend more time with him, but don't know how to convince him to go somewhere or do something with me. I hate social media and I don't want to tell him how I feel over the phone. And I definitely can't just forget about him. Any ideas on how to "trick" him into spending time with me? (PS: his birthday is coming up and he's not planning on celebrating it, if that helps.)
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crush, flirt, lesbian, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Mina_Bhamji  +, writes (6 November 2015):
 Seems like you've got to come out of your comfort zone. Do spontaneous things to get spontaneous results. You can't be hiding forever especially if you want him to know how you feel about him :)
A
female
reader, LonelyTomboy +, writes (6 November 2015):
LonelyTomboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, me again! Just thought I'd add this: the problem is that I can't convince him to go somewhere I will be! We've never met up intentionally before- it's always coincidence. I don't know how to invite people places. I've never invited someone anywhere before. Seeing as he's my only friend, I don't want to creep him out by directly asking him someplace. I often let him know if an event is coming up that he might be interested in taking part in, but he never goes. If I could just predict where he would be, I wouldn't have this problem. I've just got to meet up with him without hinting him (I want to see his sincere response, not something he had time to plan). He knows I don't invite people out and he will get suspicous if I just say, "hey, wanna go to the beach?"
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A
female
reader, Mina_Bhamji +, writes (5 November 2015):
You said his birthday is coming up, plan something for him if you like. Tell him you're planning something and to ensure that that day is free! Maybe a nice dinner, or a bar, or just a place with a nice scenery. During the time you're with him, express your feelings and see how it goes from there
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (4 November 2015):
Look, I think direct is the only way here. You’re only talking about meeting up, so there’s no reason to be underhand and trick him or drop hints rather than just say what you want. Perhaps when you’re having your next messaging conversation, you could just say something casual, a bit like this: “You know, I can’t believe it’s January since we last met up. Do you want to meet up some time?” Okay it’s nice and simple but you can judge how keen he is by his response.
I wish you all the very best.
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