A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been talking to a guy for almost a year and the past 2 months we've been spending more time together. I have a couple of questions.. he has bad credit and short on money. I feel so shallow when I think of that being the dealbreaker for going to the next level. Is it a dealbreaker? And another thing is that I'm going to move across the state and wondering if I should include him. He really likes me and has mentioned that he would relocate with me, but then I reflect to my previous question. I just feel so confused. He treats me well and I feel happy when I'm with him.I know I can't plan everything but any advice from people who's been in a similar situation will be helpful. Thank you!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for your feedback. To reply back to some concerns he hasn't asked for money. He's short on cashflow because he just doesn't make much (has a fulltime job). He is irresponsible with his money. He knows that I have my finances in order and I influence him (ie: finally using a check register lol). I know about his credit situation because he got his truck taken away (I didn't know him at that time). He bought used car in cash to get himself around. So I give him credit for not caving in and just giving up. I guess only time will tell. As of now I guess I'll be cautios as you've suggested.
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (18 November 2009):
 I don't only choose to date men who have lots of money, but if they can't keep their affairs in some sort of order, it is a deal breaker for me absolutely! I'd expect men to "break the deal" with me, if I were that irresponsible.
It’s not like someone has poor credit and is short on money but has everything else in order. It's usually a symptom of something else. I know plenty of people who make only a little bit of money and are very wise with it and have good credit.
I’ve made that mistake in the past (when I was younger). I have no desire to be the “mother” of a man. I love to be helpful, offer ideas and suggestions if they are wanted, but I certainly do not want to nag anyone to pay their bills or to pitch in their half of ours together. Been there, done that and sold the t-shirt to make ends meet. ;-)
Kudos to you for raising this question!
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A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (18 November 2009):
 You aren't shallow at all, you're just looking to the future. The idea of bad credit when you are looking at a long term relationship can be a bit of a downer for you (and him!) in relation to buying a house together etc.
If he's short on money, how can he afford to relocate? Warning bells would be going off if he asked you for money, but as you haven't mentioned anything like that, I take it he hasn't?
It all comes down to how much you like this man, if you love him, I'd say take it as it comes (nothing is set in stone!) and go for it, you might be losing out on something golden, you say he treats you well, so it doesn't sound like he's out to scam you!
On the other hand, if lack or money is really a big issue for you then I'd just go cautiously. Why is he so short on money? Is he working full time? Does he have dependants? Bad credit might be that he might have defaulted on a few payments, but doesn't make him a bad guy!
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