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Tit for tat and it smacked me back!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 January 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 18 January 2009)
A female United States age 51-59, *RIPPIN writes:

Okay I found out that he was still talking to his ex when i asked he denied it but she called his phone since i was hurt i wanted him to hurt to so i had another man's voice on my answering machine ..he refuse to speak to me and he came and took the truck that we invested in together it has been 3 weeks what should i think

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A male reader, Griffo Australia +, writes (18 January 2009):

Griffo agony auntHi TRIPPIN,

You did the right thing at first by facing him with it. However, you played a very dangerous game there, as soon as you play revenge tactic it heavily disrupted the relationship, chances are it has reduced the trust factor in your relationship going both ways. if you left it he would have been feeling guilty and the ball would have been in your court more firmly.

Obviously he's still in contact with his ex so its possible he was looking for a way out with you. Unfortunately the revenge tactic was a trap that backfired on you and it now maybe his excuse to move on back to his ex or get away. His behavior is really strange and what really worries me for your sake is (well i don't know him like you do) but he could take the truck from you and you lose out financially, there are some dodgy people out there and you need to be witty!

Do you have any evidence that you own apart of this truck? You'll need to gather it. if it was a cash financial transfer to his account then you may have lost the cash for good. If its a loan in your name then you own the truck and should speak to the police. if its in his name then he owns it and can in theory steal it from you. if its a joint venture, then id seek legal advice.

Firstly, id go to his work or where he hangs out and face him about the truck. If he does not do anything or he has disappeared id go see legal advice immediately! - including the police!

How long have you been dating for???

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A female reader, shiraz United Kingdom +, writes (18 January 2009):

i think you should take a look at how youve both behaved and ask yourself how old are we? and is what we have going anywhere? im sorry to be blunt but taking all into account the situation could of been handeled better with a lot more maturity and dignity. im not judging as im not completely aware of the situation but things have got out of control and its ending your relationship. youve both acted wrong and although you have reasons for it learn from it and handle it differently in the future. one of you needs to become the bigger person and make the first move however it seems to me your better off without each other, people need the balance and security of a happy healthy relationship and if your honest with yourself thats not what you have, this means there isnt much future. i think you know the truth deep down, its coming to an end so rather than end it badly id take note of it all and end it respectfully and say to yourself ive learnt a lot from this but it really is time to move on.

best of luck (and sorry if ive come across as blunt.) xxx

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