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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been dating my fiance' for over a year now and he still does not seem to care if he is with me or not.Just this evening he told me that he no longer wanted anything to do with me and then after talking/fighting he said that he wanted me to stay. This is not the first time he has done this. He is always threatening to leave me if I do not do exactly what he wants me to.He tells me that I am needy and that he feels like he has to always be the one to take care of me. How can he feel this way when I am the one who not only works but is also the one who does all of the cleaning, shopping, errand running, etc?All he has to do is get up and go to work and come home.Yes, he does cook but that is it and only because I am afaid to cook for him. He is very picky and I am scared that he will not like what I make him.The worst part, this is not even the beginning of it. When I sold my house to move and be with him I had to fly to where he was. I met him at a hotel near his residence. That night we went out and had a lot of fun but the next morning was awakened by him telling me that he had bought be a plane ticket and was sending me back home because he was not happy with the relationship. He gave me the ticket and $200 and walked out the door and never turned back.The only reason that I ever flew back out here to be with him after that ordeal was because I felt like I had not tried my hardest in the relationship and thought that he deserved that from me. So, after begging him he let me come back. Now I am thinking that it was the worst thing I ever could have done and that this guy is nothing but a complete control freak.Oh ........and did I mention the PORN? Yes, he pays money to download porn. He thought that he was hiding it from me until I came home from work early one evening and caught him. He says that he uses it only when I am not around as well as to better enhance our sexual relationship.I feel as though it is completely disrespectful to me and also feel that if he really wanted to be with me and cared about me that he would not do such a thing.I have no idea what to do. All I know is that I am tired of the emotional roller coaster ride that I have been on with him. I want him to either want to be with me or let me go my own way but to stop playing the emotional games with me. I am too old for this and just want to find some peace and stability and be with a man that really loves me and cares about me and respects me for who I am as well as the values that I hold.I could really use your help.
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female
reader, Delila +, writes (3 September 2005):
This guy is taking you for the biggest ride of your life. You are allowing yourself to be treated SO badly, you really need to ask yourself WHY? Don't waste anymore time or energy on this guy and go and get some help in rebuilding your life and your self-esteem. How Low Can You Go???
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (8 August 2005):
When he told you to leave after you had sold your house to be with him then you should have ran and never looked back.
If he is paying money to look at porn then i believe there is a problem...there are thousands of free porn pages on the internet, is he so obsessed thatr this is not enough for him?
The best advice i can giove you is to end your relationship with this man and find someone who truly loves you and respects your feelings. Why should you settle for second best?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2005): i think you should just leave him if he treats you like that no person should be treated like that especially the way you are being good to him and staying by his side and doing everything you can sometimes your all is never good enough for some people
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2005): You've pretty well answered your own question. If you want peace and stability it's not likely to be with him.
Just the thought of selling your home, pulling up all stakes with no skin off his butt, and treating you like you don't matter is head game you don't need to repeat.
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