A
female
age
51-59,
Cateyes
writes:Doesn't anybody stay together anymore? In this day and time, it is so easy to get a divorce or even better...just live together to "see if it works out" first. Don't get me wrong, I personally believe there are good reasons to divorce, and I know I am not "the" person who can determine all the reasons of why someone should, but when I think about this subject...this is the time I really wish I could have one of "those" talks with my parents to hear all what they went through and what kept them together for so long till their passing. My Mother was 29, born in 1927 and still a virgin when she got married to my Father who was 32. My Dad had married prior to her, but had the marriage annulled within 6 months because the woman he had married basically married him to support her and her child, not because she loved him. My Father was the romantic type and truly believed in the word love. He was also a very hard working man and wanted to make sure that when he married, he would give his wife the best he could offer her. He met my Mom in Brownsville, Texas where he to was raised and asked for my Mom for her hand in marriage. She accepted, however, before they were to be married, he left to Houston to look for work and to better provide a home and good job to support them. He wrote her often, which I have all the love letters they exchanged back and forth and reading them really breaks me down and cry. To "hear" them talking in those love letters back from 1955-56 at one time would make me go gross...those are my parents...but now, I read them and think...gosh, what love between these two!! My Dad would travel back and forth just to see her on weekends...which is at least a 6 hour drive!!They were blessed with 5 kids (me being the youngest at 41). We would go to church each Sunday, my Mother would go to all the PTA meetings at school, my 3 brothers involved with the Boy Scouts, band, football and my sister in volleyball...then there was me...always wanting to work...which to this day, I remember when I was 5 yrs old and telling my parents I wanted to be a "cash registar" (cashier) and here I am working for a bank as a VP/Branch Manager. Who would have thought?Don't get me wrong, we heard our parents when they would get in a "disagreement" about something, but they would always talk in Spanish because we never picked it up growing up, so when we heard them talk above the "normal" voice that's when we knew...let's go outside and play!! But no matter what, they always worked it out, agreed to disagree, and they moved on from it and "it" became the past. All was at peace before bed time, it just was. When we deserved it, we got spanked! There was no such thing as "time out" from something or you couldn't use this or that, probably because we didn't have anything they could take away. We were far from rich, actually quite poor...as we saw it. We all shared rooms, no one thought weird about it in a 3 bedroom house...heck, there were 7 of us!! We had one TV, one phone, one bathroom and none of us were spoiled with the finest of clothes, we shared whatever it was. It was hand me downs from each other, except for me. My Mom would take me to the Goodwill (thrift shop) because I was so tall unlike my sister who was short like my Mom. There was love in the house, mostly from my Dad I will admit. Mom was always busy with taking care of the house, the kids, and of course the bills. Dad would be outside working in the yard and taking care of the vehicles. Mom and Dad were quite opposites in this field of how love was shown. Dad was very nurturing, loving, affectionate, and talkative. Mom was very organized (mind you when she was younger), always on time for functions, save the "almighty" penny for a rainy day type. She showed her love through cooking an awesome meal, or buying us something for Christmas that she knew we really wanted. (I remember my first skateboard when they first came out - I thought I broke their bank account when I got it!!) In a weird way, they matched. They were both what each other needed. How I grew up, honestly, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I missed a lot of hugs from my Mom, which I wished I could have gotten more of, but because it took so long to figure her out and really understand her and what really made her "tick", I know now to this day that I can say...now I understand my Mom and what she thought her role was as a wife and mother. My Mom cared for my Dad for 18 yrs after many sicknesses and surgeries (and there were plenty!) that he had from working in a steel mill plant/factory and due to poor health choices that he made. However, she loved him and took care of him till his passing which was 12 yrs ago. She kept all his clothes, anything he used and we were forbidden to take them from the house. My Mother stayed involved with the church actively till she passed almost 2 yrs ago. It's been and still is a lot of clean up in the house that we lived in. (It's close to that time to sell it) But you know, I wouldn't trade it for the world now as I see it because the memories that she left for us to really stop and think about are priceless. It's work to clean it all up, but what it has taught each and everyone of us, is what each other did for one another, the sacrifices that were made, the struggles that we went through, and the love that we all shared for one another. I wish more then anything, that young or old, we would all stop and think about what we really want in a relationship and work towards that goal with our significant other. That we would not be quick to lose sight of why we married someone or think being in the arms of another would solve our problems. I wish we would think long term and not short term of the "what if's", then maybe we would really mean what we say when the words "till death do we part" come out of our mouths. I miss the words "I Love You" and what they really mean. It just doesn't seem to be the case anymore. I miss you Mom and Dad....I Love You Always...and thanks for everything you have given me and taught me!!!
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female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (4 July 2007):
Cateyes is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank's all for taking the time to read about my parents and for your kind words. I can only hope and pray that some how the words love, honor, and respect will still still keep their same meaning and that more people will actually think twice before divorce and/or really work at their relationship.
Thanks again and God Bless to you and your's.
A
female
reader, temy  +, writes (3 July 2007):
It's really touching and i see myself in the picture of that woman, it was like my exact descirption and that of the daddy is my husband's. I am trying this days so hard to be soft as my husband is complaining that i am masculine, i work myself hoarse that i hadrly have time for socials. I believe in a selfless love, giving even when itis not convenient. I pray that the souls of these loving people will continue to rest in the bossom of God Almighty for ever.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 July 2007):
 Cateyes, I think I understand you better than other people, as I am Latin American myself and saw many of the things you described. Yes, it would be nice to have the sort of relationship your parents had. Not easy these days, isn't it? I know there must have been serious disagreements between the two, but they wanted to stay together. In our Hispanic culture, marriages were thought of as lifelong commitments, so you HAD to work things out. This does not mean your parents' marriage was anything less than it was; don't get me wrong.I believe that some things have changed for the better, and many others for the worse. The 6-hour drive was fine, you know. Personally, I find it so sad that nowadays many people would NOT go that distance every weekend "just" to see their loved ones.Treasure what you got. There was no money in it, but money is far from being the most important thing. Isn't it?
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (1 July 2007):
 i agree not enough people realise to this day of all the goodness their parents give them, im only 21 but my family was a little old fashioned in the sense of you want it go buy it with your own money so that ment go get a job and thats what we all did they always wanted us to learn you dont get anything in life for free. i matured a little to quick for my age and i have problems with it i wanna go out and have fun but my maturity says dont be daft youre an adult now. but i wouldnt change it for the world..too many people say I LOVE YOU but never mean it the way its ment its now words thats just thrown about..marriage now is a thrill rather than a i love you and will stand by you thanks for writing youre artical its good to see some people out their dont take things for granted as so many people have and are too spoilt to realise how lucky they are and im just glad i realise this and thank everyone who has helped in giving me this lucky life xxxxxxxxxxxx
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