A
female
age
41-50,
*ikki26
writes:Hi. well where can i start, when my bf and i started dating, in the heat of passion i told him i would doing anything for him, even have another women with him. Later on in the relationship i told him i had a threesome with my best friend and her now husband (which he had met). We moved into our own place about 6 months ago, the first month he bought up that he wants a threesome. i was shocked, he promised it was a one night thing i experienced it, and now he wants to. he vowed he only loves me, and it only sex and he only wants it oncei read up on it and got turned on, i thought it would be cool, but now it doesn’t seem to be happening fast enough for him, he will sit on the bed go into deep thought then fight with me, when i ask him for anything he will say well you know what i want, he is making it so ugly and mean, because we haven’t found his girl. i will do it for him, but i feel like he is keeping me around to get this, he won’t let it just happen we must go find a girl, and then when we go out he says i am not trying hard enough to get a girl, and he gets mean. We have a great relationship except for this all we fighting about is this, i was going to but now i feel our relationship has fallen apart and wont survive this, i feel i should give him the one thing he has asked me for (HE KEEPS ON SAYING) and see if it will blow over, and we move on with our lives. But he seems obsessed.We have a deep love, but how can I find a girl how do I approach a girl. And why is he getting mean with me about this
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best friend, move on, moved in, threesome Reply to this Question
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male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (9 February 2010):
 'THREESOME' NOT HEART BREAKING, IF YOU DO REALIZE THE POWER OF SEX...This is your heating point,'he wants me their every step of the way. why?' The answer of your 'why?' is here in your this statement,'i am a very sexual person i love sex, i think i will make this funn for both of us.'
So, you both as a couple, have idealized the sex rightly. For you both, sex is not degrading, but high point that make love more vibrant. You, as I have advised you with this statement,'I advise you to go for reasoning, and not for occasional feeling.'
You have rightly reasoned. And, sure you will achieve high point, offered by sex, to those who deserve.
A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick  +, writes (9 February 2010):
 Oh by all means, do it! especially if you know your with the right people, it sounds to me like youve got the right outlook on it! it's him thats hounding you into it! I say you say fuck it! and go for it, youve hit the right spot mentally, if he hasnt, then I guess it will be A HUGE LESSON TO HIM!!! and next time he will put a little more thought into it, before he gets so gungho about it! do it, enjoy!!
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A
female
reader, nikki26 +, writes (9 February 2010):
nikki26 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso it must just be s sexual thing for him, i want to do it and i think i might enjoy it, i was with a women once and i loved it, but i want to please him so much not just myself. i trust him that he wants only me. and if he does walk out on me at least i know i did it, and he wasent worth me if he could just walk out. so should i let it go and make this a life experiance....... i am a very sexual person i love sex, i think i will make this funn for both of us.
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (9 February 2010):
Maybe because he trusts you! my ex told me the same thing, "go do what u want to do" but I would only felt comfortable, and like I wasnt cheating if she was there with me! because it is her that I trusted and loved, I just wanted the other girl there for sexual pleasure! get what im saying?
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A
female
reader, nikki26 +, writes (9 February 2010):
nikki26 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe says that it is just a fantasy he really wants, i told him to go by himself and go do what he wants but he wants me there he doesn’t want to do it by himself, i cant understand why he wants me to be there so badly. he wants me to choose the girl. he wants me to experience the whole thing with him. we have never been apart from each other for a year and six months, he say i am the only women he will trust to do this with. he takes charge when he has to but with this he wants me their every step of the way. why?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): Hi, I wrote earlier but forgot to add this: don't have a threesome with him, not when the conditions are like this. Say you agreed to a threesome, but when you can't find any girls then you can't have one! Simple as that. And now with all the nagging on it from his side, the conditions are all wrong. You will not be able to enjoy it, and you're not getting turned on by the idea any more. Maybe later in time you will, but for now, you don't want a threesome anymore, and you wont do it. Even if he finds a girl suddenly. Ok? Its for the best, he needs to cool down and stop being so obsessive.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): Ask him why is getting so mean about it. He acts like this is more important to him than the relationship. When you fight about it, doesn't anything come out in the open?
This is a red flag! Beware, he might not be a good man for you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): I'm sorry to say this, but to me, it doesn't seem that this man really loves you. You say you have a deep love. Are you sure it is mutual? When a man truly loves and respects a woman, all he cares about is making HER happy, while he puts his own desires aside.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta +, writes (8 February 2010):
'IN THE HEAT OF PASSION'...the phrase you used here is most real things. It is in the heat of passion you think about to have sex in threesome, and not in normal condition. Couple is normal condition to enjoy sex. And, for some couple, it is normal to have fantasy to get extra spark.
You discuss with you partner, that what you did is not so great, which required to bring back again in the life. It is your love, it is your high degree of intimacy with partner, and with sex, make such thing in mind.
I advise you to go for reasoning, and not for occasional feeling.
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A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (8 February 2010):
I dont believe from the sound of it, that he really wants to do this, it sounds more like he's just sore that youve done it, and wants to feel like you desire him sexually more then you did the people you had the threesome with! which by personal experience, can really put you in a predicament, because you are of the mind set, it is just sex, and should be done for the ultimate of sexual plessure, I dont believe he's stable or secure enough to actually do it, and see it for what it is! I believe if this is the way he's acting now! you better get prepared to follow the other women out the door, and never go back! cause I can tell you now, after you do it, he will never feel secure about your relationship again! he will constantly believe you are hooking up with the other girl without him, or he will just be flat paranoid! and it will never ever be fixable! it may even be to far gone from just telling him you had a threesome before, I dont' know, but I can assure you, nothing positive will come out of a threesome if you go along with it!
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