A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Its bothering me.... My best male friend and i have been talking about a threesome, i would really love it i know he does too but the problem comes in that i'm afraid once we have actually had a threesome he will end up like or even loving this other girl. I am absolutely crazy about it and would go get a rock sample from pluto for him, if i could. I have tired to tell him how i feel about him but it did not work so great, i know his still in a lot of pain after his divorce 3 years ago. The saw each other for a really really long time. He loved her a lot and properly wont ever love anyone like that ever again, yet of course i am secretly hoping he will 'get over her' i want to be there for him every moment of our lives, he cares about me and looks after me but his afraid.... About the threesome, can i talk to him and tell him what i'm afraid of and what i dont want to end happening? Or shall i just do it and see what happens? I'm afraid I'll end up getting hurt, emotional, even well in a restaurant if he looks at someone I'll feel my stomach turning. I have been hurt to many times by males, cheating happens the most, if this one ends up being a screw up i properly will never want to be with anyone ever again. Is a threesome just going to course more pain to my emotion level with him? Thanx xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): Me again. The dummy who screwed half of a softball team...
To answer your question, I think he means he does not want a bad experience to taint your friendship, unlike what happened to me. He wants a normal platonic relationship with you (healthy one on one).
The orgy I had ruined my long term friendship with my guy friend and wreaked havoc in my life. I moved to Arizona, hated it, then returned quietly back to the east coast. But I never made a booty call again to my friend even though the sex was great and I miss him.
I don't blame him for what happened because looking back I really enjoyed the sex with those guys. I never had soooo many orgasms. It was mind blowing. It was all of the crap that happened afterward that soured the experience for me. Some of the guys I screwed spread the word to all of their friends about our night and suddenly I was fair game.
When things go too far from being healthy, things always go bad.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all very much! This is actually what i wanted to hear.... I dont what to share him at all! I dont want anyone to have. Might sound a bit selfish. I just try and be normal, be myself.. (right now his staying with his mom which really hurts me enough)... It might seem fun to others but i still have a heart and really weak emotions, it will properly kill me.... I spoke to him last night,and he said he understands, he does not want me to think thats all he wants cause its not, i dont want him to think thats all i want either, he means way more to me then that. What does he mean by he wants our friendship healthy?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): First of all... avoid a threesome at all costs. It will ruin your life.I had a really close guy friend who used to stop by for booty calls. When I felt horny I would text him and he would come over and give me what I needed. We did this for years even when we had other steady b/f's and g/f's.Many times after sex, we would lay in bed still tingling and talk about crazy dirty fantasies we have. He said he had one about a threesome with another guy and me. He said he got a thrill thinking of having "sloppy seconds" sex with me. I regrettably said that sounded like fun. He then asked me how many guys would I have sex with at once. So, me the big dummy still tingling from my orgasms, say something about a fantasy, just a fantasy, about having sex with a group of guys. Of course the guys in my fantasy were faceless romantic novel guys you see on the cover of those books. Nobody we knew.One evening I was feeling reeeeealllly horny so I texted him and wrote "I'm so horny I'd like to fuck the entire Giants football team". He took that to mean I wanted a group of guys. I had a few glasses of wine and waited for him in my bed like I usually did.Well!! He shows up at my apartment, gets undressed and starts going down on me. I'm getting pretty worked up at this point, when he says he has a surprise for me. He brought 4 of his buddies from his softball team. I knew all of them. They had just finshed a game and were at the bar having a few beers when I texted him. Like I said, he had me feeling really horny at this point and I wanted to fuck, plus the 1/2 bottle of wine I let my guard down. I had sex with all of them, some of them twice, talk about sloppy seconds. They all watched as I had sex with them one at time and seeing them watch me, really turned me on. I had so many orgasms that I was screaming. But then the last guy finished and there I was laying in my bed, soaked and coming down from the sex. I felt suddenly used and embarrassed.Well news of that orgy got out to the rest of his teammates and I started getting texts suggesting that the whole team come by. Things had gotten really out of hand. I was referred to as the team sperm dumpster. I eventually quit my job and moved to Arizona to start over. I never ever talk about group sex with anyone anymore. You cannot trust your "friends" with your deepest feelings or fantasies.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 September 2009):
Don't do this. I'm telling you straight this guy is going to use you for his own ends and never want a relationship with you. If you do this, you'll end feeling used and degraded and you'll end up regretting it for the rest of your life. You know it's not the right thing to do, so don't entertain him when he'll only hurt you. Find another guy who wants you and you alone.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (28 September 2009):
 Sorry, this is probably going to sound very harsh.
He is your best male friend, and you are madly in love with him? YET, you want him to join you in a threesome and are scared he may fall for the other woman?
I think you need to look at what you actually want. If you loved him that much, you wouldnt want to share him with another woman. I certainly would NEVER share my man. And having a threesome really isnt the best way of getting into a meaningful relationship with a him - what is he actually going to think about you? Would that sort of behaviour be classed as "serious" or just a bit of "fun". You are friends, not lovers, not partners.
If he has talked about it, then its just going to be for the sex - not for the relationship with you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): I really think you should scrap the threesome ideas. You are crushing hard on him. And that's the only way you should be trying to have him. A real relationship or at least legitimately dating. It sounds like even being only platonic friends is still tearing you up right now. Any other way of getting him, including a threesome, is probably just gonna hurt you worse and make you even less likely to end up with him in the long run.
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