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This sounds like borderline prostitution to me!

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 July 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 27 July 2010)
A male United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I recently found out my girlfriend did sexual favors for a mechanic who worked on her car. This incident(s) happened after we met, but when we were friends and before we got romantically involved. When I first met her, this guy was texting her all the time to hook up. She turned him down and told me they did nothing... that he was just being a pest. A few months ago, she admitted that shortly before we hoooked up he took her to dinner and they kissed. I find out almost a year after I start dating her that she had sex with him because he worked on her car for free.

I truly don't care about her past partners, but this is a little over the line for me, as it is borderline prostitution to me. This guy was not a BF, just a payment in kind, and that honestly changes my perception of the girl she is. I never thought she'd do that kind of thing. Whats more, this guy is butt ugly, married with kids, about 15 years younger, and he's still texting her from time to time.

I know I should let it go... she loves me, and has been good to me. It just makes me feel disconnected, like I'm the "nice guy" she can be lovey dovey with while she has this hidden bad streak.

View related questions: her past, text

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (27 July 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntRun! She's a bit too casual about having sex with married men. Yes, technically, she was single, but..... doesn't feel good to me. One could be a simple mistake in judgement. Two is bad judgement. Three is a pattern.

Who cares what the mechanic looked like? Butt ugly or not, he's married with kids and she's still getting texts from him? VERY peculiar. Run!

Also go see your doctor to see if you might have acquired any unwanted infections.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

i`m tryin my best to be the open minded,non judgmental modern girl i would like to be. well,i think she`s a little bit on the slutty side and please dont think that all women do that.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (16 July 2010):

dirtball agony aunt"I should also mantion that 3 of the 5 guys she admits to having sex with were married. One was recently divorced. Only one guy was truly single, and that was a 2 week fling. Is this a bad trend? seems so maybe?"

Was this you OP? If it was, then I'd agree whole heartedly that this is a bad trend. Time to run.

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (16 July 2010):

Odds agony auntTwo major warning signs here. First, any woman that has paid for something with sex once, has done so more than once, and would be willing to do so again. Second, her love of married men means she has no scruples about ruining marriages. Why would she feel any differently about her own in the future?

If the guy is 15 years younger, that puts her in her early-to mid thirties at least. You *are* the "nice guy" who she wants to mooch off of so she can have her kids, her house, and her expenses all paid for, now that she has had her fun. Dump her and get a woman with some morals.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (16 July 2010):

Honeypie agony auntI would doubt her set of morals. And yes, I agree that they are still in contact of some sort.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010):

I should also mantion that 3 of the 5 guys she admits to having sex with were married. One was recently divorced. Only one guy was truly single, and that was a 2 week fling. Is this a bad trend? seems so maybe?

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (16 July 2010):

I'm with G on this one. It's not the act itself, but the fact that he was married with kids. She could have ruined a family. And to stop it off, he's still in contact. I don't think this is a woman you can trust.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (16 July 2010):

dirtball agony auntThis isn't all that uncommon. Tit for tat favors. I've known plenty of girls to use their "femanine wiles" to get what they want. Flirting to make a sale. Flashing some cleavage to distract you from getting your pocket picked. Having "thank you" sex because someone did something really nice for them.

Just because it is common doesn't mean it's right. If this bothers you that much, you may have to end it. I wish I could tell you something to make you feel better, but ultimately you have to either accept that she has things she's done in her past that you don't like, but you like being with her enough that they don't matter, or leave.

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