A
female
age
36-40,
*heekicharlie1
writes:Hi, i'm struggeling with a guy!!! I'm not with him but i think that he is my soul mate!!!! i love every bone in his body and i want to look after him!He isn't sure if he wants a relationship right now. There is a large age gap between us i'm 20 and he's37 i'm a bit lost because when he is with me he's lovely but when i'm not with him etc he doesn't respond to text or answer my emails or calls its really irratating!!! He knows how i feel to a great extent and i know that he likes me but i'm totally lost!!!
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female
reader, it's.anna.  +, writes (28 November 2008):
Hey, I'm new here, so I just wanted to say I'm in somewhat of a similar situation. Even though the age difference between the guy I like and myself is only 3 years(he's 17, I'm turning 15-really soon), it's quite a difference for teenagers. Anyway, I REALLY like the guy, even though we dont speak that much. We accidentally met in school a few years back (I was serving in the cafeteria, and he came by with an aura of hope around, since back then i was going through a tough time). That was when I was in grade 7, and he in grade 9. When he graduated from our middle school, I found him on facebook. And from the September 2 months back, I'm going to the same high school as he is. We sometimes say hello, when we pass each other by. We also spoke on msn, which he hasn't logged onto for around a week. I also added him on youtube(don't ask), and he hasn't accepted the add, even though I know he logged several times already. The weird thing is, he never speaks to me on msn, facebook, etc., anymore!!!! Yet in school, he says "hi". Also, in school, he sometimes ignores me, as if I'm literally invisible, and sometimes he looks deep into my eyes, and says "hello", blowing my brains out. I'm so confused!!! When we speak, we're usually on the same level- and can relate to eachother most of the time. But what the hell?! So for a while now, I was thinking of giving up- after all, he IS graduating this year. But I still want to fight, and I'm going to do just that, and suggest you to too!:) I'm still not sure WHAT exactly I'm going to do, but hey- you don't have to see the whole staircase, to take the first step. So hold on, to anything. Just keep fighting!!:)
--Anna :)
A
female
reader, laciladner  +, writes (20 September 2008):
Your situation sounds EXACTLY like the one I was in a couple years ago. I met this guy, I feel in love with him. I was 18 and he was 32. He was my everything but we were never official. He told me how he was divorced and everything. Towards the end, he would ignore my texts and phone calls and come to find out...he had been married the whole time. It crushed me bc I really loved him. So please be careful and try to find out everything.
Laci
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): I am in the situation. all you have to do is ignoting him. If he really likes you, he will come around
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female
reader, nat.d.82 +, writes (18 December 2007):
no offence but maybe he is ignoring you for a reason he could still be in a relationship or he may not like you as much as you like him
heres some advice i told my sister - stop trying to contact him so much a text every few days will do and i dont know what it is but my sister kind of thought she had got one over on her know fiance because not only did she save money on credit she also listended to my advice and lets say 2 times a week she would txt or email him and he soon emailed or txted back so basically just back off with all the texts !!! good look !!! p.s another thing i told my sister is that he makes her feel so crap he aint worth it x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2007): Irish 49's advice is so wise and so good. I really hope you follow it to a tee and especially LEARN from what she says. Because she is really giving you invaluable advice from an invaluable perspective (which is so hard to find) about men and women and what you are doing wrong and how you can improve and even explains to you why.
There is not much I can add that she hasn't already said but I will emphasize something which I find important is like Irish49 said, about how men don't put all their eggs in one basket and we should learn to be more like them. And its true. I mean one of the best things that you can do for yourself in life is to be empowered. Be educated, and travel, and have great friends and have interests of your own and have so much going on so that you will never feel like you NEED a guy. Just always have lots of things that you can fall back on, cause men always do, cause they think that way. And men love a woman who is interesting and isn't needy. They want to be able to learn from you and admire you. Anyways just wanted to emphasize that point. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): Soulmates? How long have you two been dating? Try to slow down, girl. And think. You sound so desperate here and stressed. And when a woman is feeling the stress, she will obsess. And when you obsess about 'why' he's not calling what are you doing to yourself? You are allowing your self-esteem to take a nosedive. No man should have that kind of power over you, I don't care who he is. Stop calling him. He knows where you are, he has your number...so just stop already.
Your posting makes me think of something I read once. "Men have traits in them that women would be really, really smart to adapt to" And that is, men don't put all their eggs in one basket. They leave openings and they know how to keep it all in perspective. They seem to have the courage to persist through doubts, failure and hurt and stay strong/steady. Women need to think 'like a man' so retain their sanity through these bleak periods of self-doubts.
Firstly, this man is able to do this, because he is almost 20 years older than you. He has a whack of life experience., maturity and confidence, under his belt. He also may know how to 'play the game'. You however, don't. But you can change all that by dropping your angst, your insecurities and take this , day by day. The key to getting this man to take note of you, is to play it cool and to be a classy, interesting, confident woman. So...have you empowered you own life? Are you working? Are you educated? Do you have a great life beyond him,? Do you have other interests? These things are 'things' a lot of older guys like in females. He wants a woman who has...a good solid life and doesn't NEED him. And if you are needy, he will spot it a mile away. Men this age, are no dummies. They absolutely hate seeing neediness in younger woman. I want you to try an experiement...step away from the phone/computer and get out with friends and have fun. Under no circumstances are you to call or text him. Resist. If this man likes you as you say he does, I guaruntee, that within one week, he will call you. And when he does call, still be you, be happy, positive and be ...busy. Don't go to him that night...make a date and make him work hard for you. After all, you are worth the hard efforts he will have to do, to get you. Grab his attention.
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (5 December 2007):
 Remember the saying treat em mean to em keen? Well your doing the opposite, stop texting and calling him let him think you have forgotten him and see what happens its more then likely he will ring you instead
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female
reader, rockelle +, writes (5 December 2007):
 I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of so much attention. If you are constantly calling and texting you have to give him a chance to show some interest in you. Could this guy possibly be in a relationship or married? I think you should proceed with caution.
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female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (5 December 2007):
 Keep yourself balanced. Dont fall on top of this guy to much or else he'll get the wrong impression. Give him some space until he tries getting in contact with you. If he ignores you than obviously he just wants you whenever he pleases and you let him have you that way. Play hard to get so that he it can be challene for him to get you rather being an easy game that he can play whenever he is bored ( Guys love a challenge..they're really competitive). Dont contact him for a while. 2 can play that game. Give him some space so it wont seem your desperate for him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): Stop running after him. He must feel like a prince! You are only 20 and he is 37, i have nothing against age gaps of any size but if he isnt getting back in touch with you then he is playing a game with you. Get your texts right back and see what happens. Play hard to get and give him a bit of a run for his money. He is the one with loads to loss, so you play the strings and stop letting him having them.
take carexx
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