A
female
age
41-50,
*antletgoofhim
writes:I've been with my fiance for five years. We have a amazing three and half year old. We have a nice home, a dog a cat and three kittens. Things were good up until a year ago when he started drinking again after three years of sobriety. We had our moments because he is very bipolar but overall it was nice. The last year I've really been paying the bills, what bills I could pay anyway and I bought all the food for the house. He was working but quit and really just sat and drank. He got a job and started a few days ago and promised he was going to stop drinking. He lied and came home very drunk. He started yelling at me right away and called me very horrible things. I took our son and went for a walk. Then came home and made diner. Me and the baby ate in our room, my fiance no longer sleep in the same room. And my fiance got food to. My son wanted to get a toy so he went to the living room, that when my fiance spit a huge mouthful of food at me then when I tried to clean it up he whipped his glass plate at me. He then grabbed me by my hair tried to pull my neck back but I was able to turn my body them he took his fork and tried to stab me in my neck but I was able to get it somehow. My son started screaming and ran to us and I was able to break free and grab my son and hide. But im too afraid to call the cops. He said he will slice my throat before the cops get in. Then he just kept yelling at me that I stole his phone and cigarettes but I didn't. My son actually had his dads phone, like he always does but Im sure he forgot he had it cause i saw him pull a toy from under our bed and the phone pushed out a bit. I gave my fiance the phone quickly through the door. He yelled and yelled for an hour saying to get the f### out and clean up the mess and said my name is scumbag because i steal and he hates me and never loved me. I have never stolen in my life and im a good person. I have been supporting him for a long time now. So, my question; why does he treat me like this and why cant i leave? I don't love him anymore and im happy when he isn't home. So why do I stay? Im am 30 and he is 43. He owes money to everyone (IRS, child support, courts and programs) and i gave up two apartments with housing to stay with him. What now, i have no where to go and he used every dime i had to get his tools for work. Should i press charges? Help please?!
View related questions:
drunk, fiance, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 April 2012):
 call the cops the next time he is abusive.
he gets arrested and you get help from your state to get out....
you put your child in danger with a man like this.... does not matter if he is the father or not.
the man is using alcohol as a drug and he is currently dangerous... if he can find his sobriety again then maybe you can fix it but as long as he's drinking you must get out.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2012): RUN don't walk! As soon as he leaves get you and your son out of there take only what you really need! He is going to hurt you severely or your son if you don't!! And when you get where you are ring have no contact with him at all!! Get a restraining order too!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2012): First thing you do is remove your son from the situation NOW as in IMMEDIATELY. Bring him to relatives or neighbors or hospital emergency room or fire station or police station or church rectory or even anonymously call Child Protective Services on yourself if that what it takes, anything to deliver him securely into the hands of responsible caretakers and safely away from the drunken abuser who has physically assaulted his mother and made verbal threats against her life. ". . .why does he treat me like this . . ."Because he's a drunken abuser who believes he can get away with it, probably because you've been letting him get away with it. " . . . and why cant i leave?"I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist or counsellor but I suspect you have deep-seated long-term issues of your own, likely due to an emotionally unhealthy, dysfunctional childhood. Pure speculation, but opening your post with "I've been with my fiance for five years. We have a amazing three and half year old. We have a nice home, a dog a cat and three kittens" suggests to me you are one of those unfortunate souls for whom "living as a family like the one I always wanted but never had" has been a lifelong unattainable fantasy that you have no clue how to fulfill due to lack of adequate adult role models in loving, stable, healthy, functional relationships while you were growing up.Please, please, puhleeeeeeaze get your son away from your "fiance" and into safe secure hands ASAP and then contact a domestic violence hotline/shelter for the help, information and support you need to get yourself safely away from him for good.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aeval  +, writes (5 April 2012):
 Wow totally and utterly messed up.
Have you got friends or family? He can't touch you if you call the cops., Its all just bluster. Cops won't let him near you.
You must get out for the sake of your child
...............................
|
