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This just isn't the lifestyle for me... I feel trapped!

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 October 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 11 October 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, *tressed and Confused writes:

I'm 26 years old and identify myself as a bisexual male. For a couple of years now I have been engaging in relationships with men while still retaining my attraction to and even longing to be with women. More and more I have been feeling trapped by my sexuality and I am starting to want more than just a hook-up or a sex partner. The problem is I don't believe I can find that deeper relationship with a male but I am afraid that no woman will have me because I am HIV positive.

I'm terrified because I don't want to except beign alone for the rest of my life and I know I can't find a meaningful relationship with another man. I don't really fit very well in the gay community and I have has a ridiculous amount of negative interactions with gay men whether, they be lovers or friends. These last couple of years have been really tough and as much as I don't want to generalize a lot of the negative people in my life have been gay or bisexual.

I'm extremely unhappy and I just want to get out of this negative cycle. I don't fault anyone for their lifestyle or sexuality but more and more I'm just starting to feel like this just isn't the lifestyle for me. I just feel trapped. Please help.

View related questions: hiv , trapped

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A female reader, QuirkLady United States +, writes (11 October 2009):

QuirkLady agony auntHave you tried online dating? It may be worthwhile to give it a shot. As long as you are honest and upfront I think there is a woman out there who will give you a chance. I am not sure if there is a specific HIV+ dating site but there might be.

Good luck.

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A male reader, Stressed and Confused United States +, writes (11 October 2009):

Stressed and Confused is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I do wanna emphasize that I have not been dishonest with anyone I've been intimate with about my health status nor have I engaged in unprotected sexual activity. Just wanna make that clear.

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A female reader, Tarawr United States +, writes (11 October 2009):

Tarawr agony auntWell, first of all, since you're HIV positive, stop having sexual partners. No need to spread anything.

You should be able to find deeper love than just sex with males. Being bisexual isn't just whether or not you'll have sex with both sexes, it's also if you have the capability to love both.

There are women out there that will still have you. I'm going to be honest, they're pretty tricky to find, but they ARE out there.

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