A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:this is just a rant, but suggestions and thoughts are appreciated.My gf has trouble letting go of her ex, no matter how nasty he is to us and our friends. She dosent see that he's pushing my friend base away from her....they dont want to speak to her if its going to cause her ex to be nasty.Recently hes started telling everyone that him and my gf have been sleeping together again, its not nice for me, im on edge, more so than ever, whenever she sees something that relates to her ex, she talks about him fondly, but when asked she says shell never date him again because he cheated on her, she already had her revenge by getting him to cheat with the girl he cheated with.Everytime she brings up her ex i feel my blood boil. It's the only thing that stops me fully commiting to her, because he pries into our relationship is nasty horrible and presents a barrier as it cause my friends to dislike her, iv told her this, she promised to stop talking to him, but she didnt. She says that my friends are as bad as him for not wanting anything to do with her while her ex is lurking. She knows everything thats going on in his life and helps him to do various things through verbal support. She hasnt met up with him physically in quite some time since he used her phone to text me saying hes f-ing her when she goes out with him. I have difficulty accepting this friendship, she calls him her brother and she says no matter how nasty family is to you, you still treat them like family and forgive them. I feel like second fiddle most of the time, she always talks about the fun adventures they had together and how we havent done any of that yet. Im in the middle of re-training for a new career, i am living just about on my means because of so many finantial mistakes so i cant take her on holidays to france and spain every 2 months. Its hurtful, we went to great yarmouth, on the way back she said it was her and her ex's favourite place so it was theirs kind of thing, i swallowed this and said we are making new memories. She gets offended when i ask her if she's over her ex, she says yes i am and you should know that! I have threatened to break up with her if her ex cannot behave himself and leave me and my friends alone, she knows it's the final straw this time, i have made that very clearAnyway iv ranted enough, its nice to let my frustrations out here before they start taking me over and affecting our relationship.
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male
reader, dyeruz +, writes (31 July 2010):
umm a brother doesn't go around telling people he's having sex with his "sister", how can you commit to someone who blatantly can't let go of their ex, he'll always be around in the background lurking. If she can't be adult enough to let this guy go and show commitment to you without the nonsense excuses then it's not worth the heartache my friend.
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (31 July 2010):
 She hasn't moved on from her ex, what she is doing is pure torture.. I suggest you leave this girl to her fond memories and find a woman who can put all her heart into the relationship.
If you treated your ex girlfriend like this and talked about her all the time, this woman would hate it. Your wasting your time with this lady, she's in love with another man.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (31 July 2010):
You're with the wrong girl, is my thought. She is not over him, for a start. She hasn't cut contact, no matter how badly he has treated her, and does nothing to reassure you at all. Instead, she continues to bring him up, then gets angry when you ask her to stop. She continues to give him support, then moans at you and your friends. She also stands idly by as he claims to still be sleeping with her, and instead of cutting contact, she expects you to get on with it.
Furthermore, when he cheated, she didn't let him go. Instead, in an act of immaturity, she went to him and got him to cheat with her.
So, to sum up. She's lied to you and broken promised. She still speaks to this guy who she knows hurts you. She allows him to hurt you and does nothing. She was immature enough to coerce him into cheating. She does nothing to reassure you.
What a class girl you have.
End it, find a better woman. She's as bad as he is.
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