A
male
age
41-50,
*ayJay101
writes:we were engaged for about 2 years and we were together for 6 years and one day my fiance just told me that she could not be with me anymore because of trust issues. i was devastated i couldn't eat i couldn't sleep i was so depressed i had moved all the way from chicago to los angeles just to be with her i left my family my friends everything to be with her and she does this to me it hurt so much.the reason she has no trust in me in the beginning of the relationship she found out i was talking to a girl online i never met her or seen her or wanted to see her it was dumb but it is cheating i admit and was wrong and sorry after that i lied because she had no trust in me and in order to hang out with friends i had to lie about where i was going and got caught im a horrible liar but that was many years ago i changed from the person i was in the relationship i grew up and proposed to her and moved out here to LA with her but it just seems that she could never get over those situations we went thru in the past it eats at her she says and she cant live life like that anymore i have to admit it hurt so much i begged for a month and she would not take me back i promised her i changed and i have changed from the immature person i was before i wanted to start a family i would never lie to her again in my life im just a whole different person but she dosent believe me and dosent want to take me back so i accept it but she told me she wants to be friends and i specifically told her if me and her are friends i will always have hope and she didnt want that so then i told her that the only way i can be friends so i guess she accepted it and now we talk everyday and i want nothing more than to get back with her but she just seems to have a wall up with me and i feel like she just dosent feel the same way about me i just want to know what i should do any opinions? and suggestions? any advice? i love this woman with all my life and i wouldnt have moved here if i wasent ready to commit and have a good relationship how do i get her back? and should i get her back? thank you for reading i really appreciate it.
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male
reader, JayJay101 +, writes (31 August 2010):
JayJay101 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank Fluffy pie i really appreciate the words of advice and encouragement. well this are going basically steady as for now we still talk everyday and it seems like her guard and wall with me is starting to loosen up shes much her self and loving u know how she use to be before all of this happen but she still does not want to see me well i guess i will have to accept that because its only been 2 months since its happen i hope that in the near future i can finally take her on a dinner date or something but i just look at progress if i see progress in the relationship then i will continue hope if i do not see that progress anymore i will know that there is no hope for me so wish me luck and i hope for the best and thank you again for the words of advice.
A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (27 August 2010):
 Well, you've broke her trust. This is extremely hard to regain. If she's insecure about your behavior, it takes a lot of time and effort to convince her that you've changed.
Maybe she decided to remain friends and talk and treat you like a friend because she wants to test you, she wants to see you from the perspective of a FRIEND. A friend never lies nor does reckless things towards the other. Thus, if it's true that you're a changed person, hopefully in time, slowly, she will convince herself about what she lost and eventually she'll get back to you and finish this story with a happy end :)
Good luck! :)
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