A
female
age
30-35,
*hadowre
writes:I dont know how to explain this but I'll try. Theres this guy I'll call Tom, that I like, and he likes/liked me. This all started less than 2 months ago. We got on well. I think it all went down hill when he saw this other guy Bob kiss me out one night. Tom saw me freak out and asked Bob what the hell was he doing? Talking to Tom after, he said its ok. But I just think things were weird after that.Meet up with each other on our own, and not drinking. He talked a lot which is good cause we both know i'm not a talkitive person. I listened to him, had fun. He grab my arm when there was dog facaes on the ground. Put his hand on the small of my back when I walked infront of him. Had long chats on facebook. Everything was fine. And then it just went downhill. I wrote to him on facebook on saterday but he hasnt replied, but has replied and commented on others status. I get this tight feeling in my chest and I think my stomach when I see this. I cant really explain how I feel as I'm not good with these things. I dont know what I'm feeling and I'm going crazy like. I'm even taking mental illness test online, and they always come back schzoid personality disorder, OCD, mania, mixed episodes, slight schiotypal and paramoid. I have no idea what that has to do with anything, but I freaking out cause now I think I'm a crazy person. I dont know what to do or how to figure out how I'm feeling. Am I going crazy? Should I go to a psychologist? What am I feeling? What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): Bless you arent going mad or anything. You just really like Tom and are worrying that you might have blown it because he saw someone else kiss you. It might have been the sight of seeing you kissed. Your reaction to it or the fact that you are putting yourself.in positions where guys are feeling its ok to kiss you. Anything could have made him back off. Ask him! You say you arent a talker. So maybe if you havent expressed how you feel about Tom or how you felt about being kissed, Tom might think that you dont care much. Im a chatty type. When i first met my partner, he warned me he was quiet and shy and a lot of people thought he was ignorant because he was so silent. Im glad he warned me! Because he was so quiet, i thought he didnt care. When really it was all going on underneath, he just had trouble expressing himself. It caused a lot of misunderstandings until i learned how to "read" him. So make an effort to be more talkative and let Tom know the kiss really upset you. And its been a double upset because its made him change toward you. He wont know how you feel if you dont tell him! As for online tests. Ive done some and im barking mad according to the results. So forget about all that nonsense. You are you and perfectly normal. Just a little shy and self absorbed. So work on building your confidence and communication skills. And you will be fine x
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 June 2010):
You're not mad or anything. Most online tests are inaccurate. If you think you have a problem, then do go to a psychologist. But you don't seem crazy or anything.
The issue is that he saw you and Bob kissing, and he thinks you fancy this other guy so he's not backing away to get over you. Just relax more. You're getting so stressed over something so simple. You're not crazy, you're hurt. You need to calm down and look at this logically. The answer is simple. Bob kissed you, Tom didn't like it because he and you were getting close. So Tom has backed away. Give him some space, then try talking to him again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): Sounds like this guy Tom is no longer interested in you. He maybe had the idea you were his gf then he saw you kissing someone else.... and after spending time with you perhaps he has decided that you are just not the one for him.
You are not crazy but I would say you sound desperate and clingy - enough to chase away anybody!
Sorry to be so hard on you but that is just how you come across.
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