A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I have been seeing a girl for 4 years. Things were great. After graduating college we moved to different cities and accepted jobs. Anyway things were going well for the first several months. Then all the sudden she started to become distant. She was not very enthused when I called and I could tell she was not into the conversation. This went on for awhile and then she said she wanted to take a break. She wanted to take time for herself and wanted space. She said she is still young and does not want to take the next step right now (Even though I'm not ready either). I just wanted to share fun times with her and this time of my life but yes eventually marry this girl. During the break she would call and text time to time saying she missed me and loved me. She also said she thinks there is a future for us and to be patient with her. Well after about a month and a half she tells me she is going to start seeing someone else. As she is saying this she says she thinks there is a future for us, I mean so much to her and she loves me. She wants me to date other people to make sure we are right for each other. I don't know if I am being fed a bunch of bs or if she is being sincere.I am torn as what to do here. In previous relationships I would move on and not look back. This is different. I really do love her. I still love her even though she is seeing someone else. What do I do? I don't want to be her backup plan. We dated all through college and she is I guess having that feeling of missing out on something. I've told her how I felt, she knows she is the love of my life but she still wants this "break". I don't know to try to put this behind me and take it for what it was or wait and try to get her to back. I know I could move on and find someone else and probably be happy but this girl meant the world to me. I don't want to let her get away. Anyone offer some advice?
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male
reader, maxi_enigma  +, writes (10 March 2009):
 i am in a similar state of mind.even its hard for me not texting and calling her.sometimes i feel like i should just text her apologizing for every thing, but the next moment something holds me back.this is really tough.hope we get whats best for us.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for responding. I am going to try to move on. This is extremely hard. I think about her almost every waking minute. A part of me is still in denial and think she does still want a future for us but I guess I can't wait. Life goes on. The hardest part is going to be not caving in and calling or txting her to see how she is doing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for responding. I am going to try to move on. This is extremely hard. I think about her almost every waking minute. A part of me is still in denial and think she does still want a future for us but I guess I can't wait. Life goes on. The hardest part is going to be not caving in and calling or txting her to see how she is doing.
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A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (9 March 2009):
 What I have learned, as I was in this situation 2 years ago with an amazing girl, is that you have to let her go. As much as you love her, she is saying through action and some words that she is ready to try someone new. Actions speak louder than words. She is distant for a reason, but doesnt want to hurt you. I know it hurts soo bad that she is moving on. I was 22 when this happened to me, it took me a year to get over her. I kept calling after she said she needed space, trying to give her space and just be friends, thinking the whole time she was actually still interested in me, just that she needed space. It came down to a dramatic meeting when I was basically in tears telling her I was still in love with me, and why didnt she feel the same anymore. She had to break my heart at that point, and tell me she couldnt be with me anymore, definitively. It hurt. Save yourself the misery and dignity and move on. She is playing games with you, and you dont have time for a girl who doesnt want you 100%. You are too awesome of a person to waste time with a wishywashy girl. Find the one that loves you for who you are. Text me if you need further advice on how i got through it, how you can move on etc. Good luck
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A
male
reader, maxi_enigma +, writes (9 March 2009):
dude your story is so much similar to mine.is your girl an Aquarius, coz i can see that she is kind of fickle.i think u should let her go and give her some space for sometime.i know what you are going through right now, but trust me time is best healer.sometimes you have to let it go and have faith.if she comes back to you she is yours forever,and if she doesn't then she wasn't the one for you.again its very hard to let go of something to.i just hope that u get the peace.best of luck
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