A
female
age
36-40,
*adgirl21
writes:Me and my husband have been married for 6 years and this year i found out that he had been talking to a girl for about 6 months. He says nothing hapened and so does she, but now she wont stop calling him and i am scared that as soon as i let my gaurd down some will happen. How can i get her to stop or keep them from cantacting each other. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sadgirl21 +, writes (3 May 2008):
sadgirl21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThey met at the club when i was there with him. She put her number in his pocket. And i am not the type of girlthat would do it back, because i know the pain it an cause and i don't wish this pain upon anyone. I have been with my husband since i was 15 years old and can honestly say that i love him and that i am willing to fight as hard as i can to maintain the wounderful marriage i have had so far. I did ask him why did this happen and he said i don't know it just did. And he himself has cried and told me that he asked himself the same question. I was not and insacure person until that day when i found out she has 2 kids and she is 12 years older than me. That hurt and the point that i can't have children i thought maybe that is why he did it. Because i can't have children, but i am going to forgive him and look more into the future and live my life as happy and cheerful as i can. She will not win, she will not break my marriage, she only made it stronger. Because after this for the fist time in 6 years he came out and told me his true feeling about me and promised to honor and cherish me more.Thank you to everyone who answered my question, i really do appreciate it.Love,Sadgirl21
A
female
reader, PreciousNY +, writes (29 April 2008):
I have to agree with Collaroy fully. There is no reason why your husband should be talking to another female. Next time she calls tell her to stop calling your husband and hang up. If your husband doesn't like it tell him to go live with her. He may think twice about what he is doing. Or maybe give him a dose of his own medicine and see how he likes it. But this is not appropriate behavior of your husband or this woman who keeps calling him.
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (29 April 2008):
 You can't, but he can. If she hasn't stopped contacting him it's because she's getting mixed messages from you husband, whom I suspect is still giving her the green light. Only he can pull the plug. That is if he really wants to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): THere is not a lot of information there. Where did he meet her, sounds like you know her too as you say she also says nothing happened. Does he say why they talk and what they talk about? What is the nature of the relationship, lots of questions, talk it out!
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (29 April 2008):
 Hi,
did you ask him why he is talking to this girl?
You really need to suss out why he is doing this. She is not the real problem here, she is just a girl looking for a bit of a thrill.
Your husband is the problem, he is a married man playing with fire. Yet it doesnt seem to be changing his habits much.
I fear you have yourself a cheater on your hands. And it really sounds like you have low self confidence which is also a worry as your husband is exploiting your kind nature. Most women would throw his sorry arse out onto the street. I gather that he knows you won't do this to him, so he feels he can get away with this.
You need to be firm, tell him if you see one more message , one more phone call from this girl then you are leaving. Arrange with a friend or a family member so they can put you up for a while. At the moment your husband is acting with impunity, if your friends and family realise what a rat he is being he might just come around.
good luck.
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A
female
reader, x0clairebear0x  +, writes (29 April 2008):
Talk!!!
Tell your husband that you don't feel comfortable with his friendship, let him reassure you that you are his wife and he loves you!
However you have to be aware that you cannot bann him from having female friends. Obviously for some reason or another you feel insecure or/and do not trust him. I think this is what you should focus on fixing!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 April 2008):
You talk to him and ask him to cut contact with this girl.
Once he agrees then you leave him to it and trust him.
You can't wade in and stop them speaking. You are his wife not his prison guard.
I would stop trying to treat the symptom (him talking to this girl) and start treating the cause (the reason your husband is striking up friendships with strange girls)
Good Luck!! xx
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