A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing a girl from work for a couple of months now but due to her living circumstances we have decided to be as friends until she is able to get a place of her own. We do kiss, etc and have been intimate and hope to have a future together. A couple of weeks ago, one of the girls at work was laughing and joking with me as we walked along the corridor and my GF heard and saw this. She later came over to me and said "What was she doing that for? Oh, look at me, I'm beautiful..." etc mocking the girl I was talking to. I explained that she's a flirt and I'm not interested, which my GF knows is the truth.Then this flirty girl asked me to join her on Facebook so she could send messages, etc. I refused and told my GF about it. Again, I told my GF that I'm not interested, which I'm not. This girl already lives with her boyfriend and has two children with him. I don't encourage her and I know she's the same with other men at work. My GF knows that it's not me and has seen things for herself.Then today, I was on my break when this girl came into the room and again was talking loudly, giggling, etc. A while later my GF popped her head in and said "Are you having fun?" and walked away. I was concerned about this but has to return to work so wasn't able to go to her. I wasn't even sure that the comment was directed at me.I finished work earlier this evening and went to say goodbye to my GF (who works later shifts.) I went into the room to say goodbye, but she seemed cold towards me, didn't say anything and before I could speak to her she went to attend to a customer.So, I'm not sure what I've done wrong or what I should do. Do I contact her and ask if she's okay or should I just leave it until I see her at work tomorrow? I don't want her feeling bad about anything or jealous, especially over some silly, flirty girl who means nothing at all to me.Any advice would be much appreciated.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2011): Thanks Drew21 for your advice. I got in touch with my GF last night to check that she was okay. She admitted that she was jealous of the way this girl is and has noticed that it's all one way. I re-assured her that this girl means nothing to me and she's the only one I want. We left it on nice terms.
Saw her at work today and she was fine with me, though the flirty girl is off for a week now. I didn't mention anything about this other girl and spent a nice afternoon with mg GF at work chatting with her on our break, etc.
Thank you 'Female Reader' for your comment. I see where you're coming from about me being able to control this, but I do think you are wrong here. See, I have never encouraged this girl and when she does come into the room, I try and leave or make myself busy. Unfortunately, this doesn't always work because this girl craves attention - not just from me. Also, I sometimes have to work alongside her and I doubt my boss would give me special treatment not to work with her!!
My GF has seen things for herself with this girl - even when she's doing it with other men when I'm off work or not around. I don't think it's that she doesn't trust me because I've never done or said anything to cause this, so I'm not sure your statement about that would apply here.
My main concern was that my GF was obviously upset about what she had seen from this other girl and I wanted to know what would have been the best way to approach this without causing more upset.
I took Drew21's advice and it worked for us.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2011): Why does she not trust you? You helped the situation by not joining facebook but I think you need to give this flirty girl the cold shoulder. She must know she is causing trouble . Don't blame your girlfriend - blame yourself. YOU are in control of the situation and you can just as easily make it clear to this flirty girl that you are busy at work and don't have much time for the giggling. There are plenty of things you could do to give her the right message. Think about it.
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A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (7 July 2011):
 It does sound like your girlfriend is feeling overly threatened by this flirty girl.
To be honest i think you're doing pretty much everything right. Turning down the facebook invite was huge!
What i would do is maybe leave a message for her tonite, just saying that you're thinking about her and looking forward to seeing her tomorrow.
If she gives you the cold treatment again tomorrow, at that stage i would ask her if you could sit down and have a talk, and work things through.
She really is being a bit overly protective!
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