A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am in my late 40s and married with almost adult children. I did something terribly wrong to a very good lady friend of mine about 20 odd years ago. She was a genuine friend and a well wisher and I sort of stabbed in her back with my selfish behaviour. I still do not know how I could do it and why did I do it. She does not know I was acting selfish and i was the one who made her life miserable. We have not been on talking terms since then and live in different countries and I do not know here whereabouts. The guilt is killing me and has always affected my self-confidnece. What would be the best way to overcome it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (8 July 2011):
 I think the best way is to write her a letter and genuinely apologize for what you did. Ask if you could meet up and hope that she forgives you for what you did.
If not, then it's time to let go and move on.
20 year is a long time ago,and we were all young, stupid and made mistakes. The most important part of mistakes is owning up to it and making it right. Learn from it and never do it again. Also, learn to forgive yourself. Try to figure out why you did those things. Was it out of jealousy? Envy? Greed? Whatever the case, recognize that you do have a "bad" side and you gave into temptation. Learn to forgive yourself.
The key here is to be genuinely sorry. Anything else will be insincere, fake and she will sense it a mile away.
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