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female
age
51-59,
*assion40
writes: Dear Cupid,I wonder if you can help me sort this situation out?I have recently ended a relationship that has been going on for two years with my boyfriend.The problem was that I was never really attracted to him and did not fall madly in love with him. I tried to love him, but he was not very attractive, but had a good heart and the sex was not bad. However, I always felt that something was missing. I broke the relationship off at least 4 times during the two year period because I felt his was not what I wanted. He never stopped calling me during these periods and because we became friends, we always seemed to get back together. Throughout all of the make up and break up's I still did not feel passionately for this guy.Anyway, he introduced me to a friend of his while we were seeing each other and over the past year his friend has been in contact every couple of months. Normally, I ignore his emails as I thought he was being disrespectful. In the past month I have broken up with my boyfriend, during this time his friend has been emailing me and we have become quite close.Last week I went to my Ex's house to have a christmas drink and to show him that there are no hard feelings. His friend was there (the one who has been emailing me for a year). We immediately fell for each other and it was noticed by my Ex. I realised that I felt really attracted to him.I really like this guy and the chemistry between us is awesome. My Ex is having a fit, because he says that I have betrayed him. I feel guilty but I do not understand why? This is the feeling that I have been looking for for two years, but never felt with my Ex.I really want to get to know his friend, We have not been intimate and this is the first time I have seen his friend in two years.What do I do? Am I wrong for wanting to be with someone that i truly feel I could have a relationship?Please advise.Passion
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Learning2Love +, writes (27 December 2006):
 Although there's nothing wrong with you being happy, your ex has just lost you and now he's going to loose his friend.
Guys have a 'code of conduct' between friends that they won't make a move on gf's and ex's. It's just the way it is.
I think you must have his friend have a chat with your ex to see if he'll let him go out with you...
If I was in your ex's position I'd be very angry with my friend for making a move on my ex while there's still 'hope' or until I've moved on.
Hope things work out for you all.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2006): your feelings are not wrong. Just because you feel attraction to some one else isn't wrong
At first i wanted to condemn your ex for not wanting to see you happy but i do understand why he's upset. HE still cares for you but that shouldn't stop you from being happy. I have been in your situation beofre. You need to explain to your ex that he should be happy that your happy and that if he cares about you he should let you do what you need to do.
It may hurt him becuase obviously he cares for you but i think that he will understand that you need to walk your own path.
Hope i helped in some way, just trust your feelings and your heart if you like this guy go for him don't let other people stop you from your own happiness and don't compromise for them becuase they want to be happy. Because you'll never be happy if you only try to please others.
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