A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating the same girl since my senior year and we have now been together 5 years. We have broken up 2 serious times, once after a few months and once about 2 years ago and we both talked to other people but nothing really serious and shortly after we got back together. I talked to the other girl for about a month and realized how much I missed my girlfriend and begged her back and we were together 2 years since then and she got accepted to a college in la. Now she moved away from where we are from and I followed her and we've been down here for about 9 months. I live about 30 minutes away and we see each other once or twice a week. I've noticed that since we've lived here I text and call her more and get jealous easier because she lives in the heart of LA and goes out occasionally and is having a good time. She says that it is smothering and too much and now says she has been in a relationship so long that she doesn't know any different. It breaks my heart because I have beer cheated on her and I have always thought I was going to marry her. She has felt the same and always told me how much she loves me and wants to be together too. About 2 and a half months ago she was looking for a new place and asked me to move with her and I said I didn't think it was healthy when in reality I should have done it but we were kinda fighting at the time over dumb stuff, now she is moving in with a friend that I despise and her mom and her friends all try and talk her in to being single and she recently said she needed a break, I of course am so used to talking all day everyday to her, especially after 5 years, so we still talked and I asked to hang out and he said no. It got to the point after a few days where she broke up with me so I ignored her and she texted me two days later ad said "I just wanted to say I miss you" so I called her and talked to her like 5 times that night and kept texting her and she got annoyed again and now she won't answer any of my calls texts or anything but still remains my friend on Facebook. She told me a week ago multiple times she doesn't want to be with someone else, she just wants to be alone and do her own thing. Everything that has worked in the past to get her back isnt working and I dont know what to do. I can't stand the thought of her being with someone else. We have been together so long.
View related questions:
a break, broke up, facebook, got back together, jealous, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2012): "This break up seems different, nothing I've done in the past to get her back is working! What should I do?"Take the hint that what's "different" about THIS break up is that it's final and irrevocable (and long, long overdue) as your refusal to give her one minute's peace has finally exhausted her patience and driven her to the breaking point."she just wants to be alone and do her own thing . . . I dont know what to do."Let her to be alone and do her own thing, there's nothing you can do to get her back for the simple reason SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU BACK. What does she have to do to get you off her back in order to enjoy a moment's peace? File for a restraining order? Have you arrested for stalking? Have you committed to a mental institution? "I can't stand the thought of her being with someone else. We have been together so long."And after five years of putting up with you, she simply can't stand the thought of being with you for one second longer
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (22 June 2012):
 I would give her some space and see what happens. You are being very possessive and many people do not like it when others act that way. She is not your possession, she is a girl you like and you need to treat her as such. If you like someone, you treat her with respect and kindess. That includes listening to what she says and taking it seriously. If she wants to be by herself for awhile, and you care about her, you need to show that care and concern and leave her alone for awhile. If she wants to get back with you she will. With that being said, I know this type of situation hurts and is confusing. Sometimes you can go crazy trying to think of ways to "fix" things enough that she will want to be with you. But, sometimes it is just not possible and you have to face reality. Lay off of her for awhile, and the next time you do speak with her, be a gentlemen and treat her like you would want to be treated. Don't pressure or annoy her...it will only make things worse. In the meantime, find some healthy outlets for your grief, anger, and loneliness. Try to surround yourself with friends...it will help.
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (22 June 2012):
 Yes, you may have been together a long time - but, sometimes relationships ultimately don't work out.
I'm afraid this is what has happened here. You both made several attempts to have it work, but without success.
It seems clear to me that you are really being very possessive. That's worse than useless, you know.
Texting and talking five times in one evening is really quite excessive. It's not surprising she got annoyed.
You say you cannot stand the thought of her being with someone else. Well, guess what? You're just going to have to accept that she may meet another man sooner or later and prefer him over you. Sure, you can stew over that and make yourself thoroughly miserable with jealousy - but it won't do you any good.
I think it would be a good idea to stop obssessing over her and turn your thoughts and attention to other people, other activities you enjoy. If you MUST spend some time tormenting yourself, at least try to limit it - no more than an hour a day!
Good luck
...............................
|
