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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello,Sorry to bring a common and depressing post, but I feel very negative right now, and I don't have close friends and I can't talk about this with my boyfriend because he gets annoyed. Well I feel ugly. Everyone around me is prettier. I feel unfeminine - I have broad shoulders, small breasts. I also have an ugly face I think, unremarkable at least. And I don't have a lot of hair... I can't even wear a pony tail because it's so thin it's ridiculous. A lot of girls in my gym workshop at college are small framed with big breasts, they resemble the impossible idea the media shows more than me. I know I shouldn't compare myself, but I'm just a girl.I'm not fat. So I can't fix it by losing weight. I am medium framed I believe, but my shoulders are broad, the breasts are small... I look nothing like the ideal. Once I told my boyfriend how I felt, especially because he watches porn, and told him how I felt inferior to those models, and that if he met one, he'd probably be more attracted to her or wished that I looked like her. He said, trying to reassure me (it didn't work), something along the lines of "Honey, if I ever met such a girl, she wouldn't give me the time of day! That's why I'm with you". I can't help but feel that he's with me because he can't get on with someone better looking... that's how his comment made me feel. Especially since these women are plastered on every magazine cover, movie, ad... Ugh... I wish I looked like them!I know beauty is not the most important thing, but come on, you sure know it's important to at least feel comfortable around other people right? I don't, it's not even that it's Photoshopped pictures that bug me, but the fact that my classmates, my very real classmates look a million times better! I'm not even that smart, or witty to compensate for my lack of good looks! SOme of the most gorgeous ones are also the smartest ones.Help. Only surgery could fix me, but I don't want that! Especially since there is no "shoulder shrinking" surgery that I know of! Or I can't get more gorgeous hair without looking and FEELING totally fake, or my face... what can I do? I hate feeling like this, because it's genetic... I even wish I never have a daughter, so she won't have to risk looking and feeling like me... a son would be better because he wouldn't have to feel ridiculous for having small breasts or broad shoulders... sigh...
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): Take time and think about it. I'll be honest, i don't think i'm very pretty either, i use to wish i looked like my sisters, they are much prettier.... I like reading books about how to make a success out of your life, one day i came across something really sweet.. It's the inside that counts not the outside. I was very happy knowing that i can make people feel good by the way i act not look. The looks did not matter anymore. Tell yourself that you a beautiful and you will see, you will feel pretty, it really does work. Tell yourself how important you are to yourself. There is nothing better then a little self-estim... Try it you will feel so much better... I might not think i'm pretty, my over weight, 'not so handsome' to others, boyfriend which is my first for the 10 months, thinks i'm the best thing ever. Feel good to yourself, and you starting looking good to other.... Trust me
A
female
reader, ButterflyKisses  +, writes (5 April 2009):
It sounds like your boyfriend is determining your level of self-worth, which is nil at the moment. There are plenty of men out there that will love and appreciate you for the woman that you already are. It sounds like he's making you feel like YOU can't do better. Don't limit yourself to being with a man that makes you self-loathing.I'm sure your insecurities are REAL, but you need to ask yourself where they come from. Who is making you feel so insecure about yourself?Attractiveness is subjective. Some people believe that overweight woman are repulsive, for example, while others are strongly attracted to them. I bet there's lots of men out there looking for someone just like you - as you already are.
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (5 April 2009):
 You are being silly! You are absolutely perfect in your own little way! You know, you are your worst critic. You can find treatments and shampoos that can add volume to your hair so it looks fuller! or extensions could help!
My shoulders are broad too! Be proud of them! They are certainly nothign to be ashamed of!
Plastic surgery is too expensive! and very unnatural! A cosmo poll said that 83% of guys are turned off if they know a girl has had plastic surgery.
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