A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I hope I'm not just avoiding what I already know, but I just want to make sure I'm not over reacting or letting my emotions get the best of me. Ive been dating this guy for about two months. Its a little wierd though because we met over the holidays and spend every day together for the first week knowing eachother. Unfortunatly, he had to leave after just meeting him for a month. We kept in touch and as soon as he got back, I got a txt from him wanting to hang out. In all of our conversations, he has been excited to see me, very complimentary, and tells me how he feels about me. He was always such a gentleman, opening doors, taking my jacket, he even waited until the third date to kiss me goodnight. Ive seen him one more time since he got back and for the first time, things started to heat up between us and we ended up sleeping with eachother. Almost immediatly things started to change. For one thing, he started only talking about himself and he did all the talking. Then I didnt hear from him all week. We live in two different cities so I only get to see him on the weekends and last weekend, I confronted him about not calling saying "Is everything alright, I thought I would have heard from you by now?" He said he had been sick. Ok, valid excuse, but over used by guys who are just playing you. So this week, the silence continues. After wishing him well a few days later via txt, I dont want to be the one to call him for the second time making myself seem desperate, but I dont know what to make of this. I dont know if he is trying to give me a hint that things are over or should I txt him and say something...and if so, what?!? Thank you everyone for your help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (26 January 2010):
 When I started reading this, it really freaked me out. Word for word, up until the bit where you slept with him, was exactly what happened to me a few months ago. Are you sure you're not in Australia? lol
I don't think you need to text, call or do anything. I think he's made it clear with his actions that he doesn't want to put too much effort into this. Why? I don't know and I doubt that you'll ever find out.
What do you want from him? Do you want a relationship? If so, you need to leave him alone and look elsewhere. If all you're after is some fun on the weekends, I think he'd be up for that. If you chose to go down this path, don't expect to be treated nicely and with respect.
The way he behaved at the beginning means nothing. I've learned that the hard way. Look at his actions now.
If you call or text him he will know you're there and ready for the taking. Don't be that girl. I think that this guy has shown his true colours after he got what he wanted. I don't think you can expect anything more from him.
As hard as it may be I would walk away and refuse to see him again. What you need is someone who calls YOU, asks to see YOU, and someone who wants to be with YOU. Don't settle for less.
He probably thought at the beginning that he did want a relationship and whatnot...but when a bit of time passed and reality set in, he realized he didn't want one. Thus, the ignorance and lack of communication. Leave him alone...you won't get much from him.
And as for the similar situation I was in? When the guy started being ignorant I simply walked away. Did he come after me? No. And I am glad I didn't call or text or anything. He didn't deserve it.
I think you're worth much more than this guy. Let him go, learn from this experience and never settle for someone who doesn't treat you the way you should be treated.
A
female
reader, samehere +, writes (26 January 2010):
 Oh dear - you've been played. I'm so sorry to break it to you - although I KNOW you know this. He was in it for one thing and only one thing, and he got it.
In fact, if he's sick - that'll give him more free time to actually be in touch with you because he's not busy doing anything else but getting better! I'm sure he'll be able to text you when he's laying down. He probably felt that you're getting attached and he doesn't want a committment now that he got what he wanted.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it's your fault that you slept with him. I'm just saying that this guy is just a guy who wanted something from you and got it. When you really want candy, you'll hold on to it until you unwrap it and eat it. Would you still hold on to the wrapper afterwards? No! You'll ditch it! I'm sorry if I offended you by comparing you to a candy wrapper - but that's the closest thing I could think of.
Move on, he's a jerk. You'll eventually find someone worthy of you. I know it sounds cliche - but it's true. Patience... Good luck :)
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