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Things arn't as exciting with him as they were with my ex.

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Question - (11 July 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 11 July 2007)
A , *oney62002 writes:

I've been with my current boyfriend for over a year and everyone thinks we are the perfect happy couple. I am lucky as he spoils me and takes me away for romantic weekends etc and you wonder why I'm complaining?

My ex was an alcoholic and i posted questions on here when i was going through the motions with him. Anyway we broke up ages ago, but he was a magnetic person and i still think about him - the sex everything was amazing and so exciting but the relationship was not good. Anyway i moved on and picked this lovely guy (who Im with now)he's a bit younger, had a sheltered life and was a virgin when i met him. He was perfect for what i needed at the time after having such a turbulant relationship previously.

A year later we are still together and I know i love him but things arent as exciting as they were with my ex. Not only that me and him have been having very big arguments in which one or the other is humiliated usually with public outbursts - i know this isnt good. He is very dramatic and likes to make a scene as he know I find it really shameful. We have problems with communication - he is really quiet most of the time until i irritate him then he flairs up. When i try and discuss the problem we never usually find a resolution, we just say it wont happen again - which it does.

I've asked for a break in which we both have time to discover whether we still want each other? we wont be seeing anyone else in this time. Is this a good idea? I don't know what to do to stop these arguments, I'm scared thy will become violent from one of us...

View related questions: a break, alcoholic, broke up, my ex, violent

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A female reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT United Kingdom +, writes (11 July 2007):

BEEN THERE DONE IT agony auntHi there hun,

You have been in a bad relationship before babes and I congratulate you for the strenght to move on, now with this guy he treats you good etc...

This guy was a virgin and obviously needs you to tell him exactly what you like once he realises babes he will continue to satisfy you, ask him what his fantasies are and you tell him yours and go for it, but as for the violent out bursts with one another in public that my sweet is not good, if you think the situation will one day become physical then the split is the best thing you could have done right now....

All relationships have there ups and downs and its all about communiction (TALKING) ...

You need to be able to sit in a quiet room together and discuss what makes you both have out bursts like you do if this can not be resolved then I really think you need that strength agian to find someone who loves and cheerishes you for who you are as you deserve that in life and so does he

Wish you well babes,

Hope this has helped you in some way let me know how you get on

Love Donna xx

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (11 July 2007):

love-him agony auntHey babe, Yea i think the break is a good idea, you both need time to asses the situation, and to figure out wether you both having a relationship, is a good idea. If you think an argument is going to get so uncontrolled, that there could be a violent outburst, i realy think you need to reconcider being with someone else.. As you know, that isnt a good and healthy relationship babe. I hope i helped, good luck. Mail me if you would like to talk x x

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