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anonymous
writes: Hi,I'm having some problems with my boyfriend. We've been dating for about 10 months. We seem to be fighting over the same thing repeatedly. Like how I'm not good at talking to him in person, but I can say all kinds of things in e-mails or notes. I try to say what all I feel, and lately I have gotten better at it, but he still brings that up. Another thing is, he says I'm trying to chain him down or something, but all I want is to be with him as much as possible. Is wanting to be with someone you love as much as possible a crime? I know there are a few things to change in me as a person, but when I ask him to change a little, he gets stubborn and won't listen. He claims he hasn't changed since the day we met and doesn't plan on changing anything. He also says that I should just accept him for who he is. I really don't know what to do. We might even end up breaking up. Please help us to fix this relationship.Sincerelly, Blacksheep-Sakura wanting help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2005): Showing up without calling is bad manners. Good manners are never out dated.
Also, it might make him think your "checking up" on him.
I would advise a call saying I'm on the way over if you have no objections, I would like to treat you to a movie and a dinner yadda yadda.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2005): I know exactly how you feel! my relationship is much the same. I know it'll feel like the hardest thing in the world, but instead of spending say 5 nights a week at his ( i'm just using random numbers here) stay for 3 but call him on one night and engage him in a really deep, meaningful conversation.It is quite possible that you have both changed and grown during the course of your relationship but just haven't noticed it in yourselves. You'll find that having the nights/days where you don't see each other, the est time you do you'll have plenty to talk about and it'll seem all the more special because it doesn't happen so often!Also, try and change the days when you see each other, don't stick to a strict routine. Routines get boring! Try turning up at his house one night when he isn't expecting you. Wine, a movie and a pizza. I bet he'll love the surprise and it'll really show him that you care.I hope this was of some help to you!
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reader, helpfull girl +, writes (17 June 2005):
THIS MAY NOT BE MUCH HELP! BUT IVE LEARNT A LESSON OR 2 IN MY LIFE AND THAT IS NEVER ASK ANY ONE TO CHANGE. NO BODY'S PERFECT! AND WE CAN ACCEPT THAT OR LEAVE THAT! WHEN YOU GO TO ARGUE IN FUTURE AND YOU KNOW IT WILL GET OUT OF HAND BITE YOUR TOUNGE, GO OUT THE ROOM DO SOME THING THAT WILL PREVENT YOU OF ARGUEING! IF HE ASK'S WHY YOU WALKED OUT THEN TELL HIM IN FUTURE WHEN WE ARGUE IM GOING TO WALK OUT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU TO MUCH TO KEEP BITEING YOUR HEAD OFF! OF COURSE EVERY COUPLES ARGUE, THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! BUT JUST DONT ARGUE 24,7. MAY BE YOU SPENDING 2 MUCH TIME 2GETHER NOW I DONT KNOW WEATHER YOU LIVE 2GETHER OR NOT! BUT IF YOU DONT LIVE 2GETHER THEN HAVE A BREAK NOW AND AGAIN! 1 DAY AWAY THEN C EACH OTHER 4 SAY 3-4 DAYS THEN HAVE ANOTHER DAY WAY! HOPE IVE HELPED YOU!
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