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anonymous
writes: I have a friend who I imagined likes me. Two weeks ago I went out with my friends, including him and I got drunk. He took me home that night and while he was driving me home he confessed he likes me. Later on, we starting talking about a sensitive subject for me and I cried a little bit so he wiped my tears off and then he "stole" a kiss from. Since I was drunk and he had never tried to kiss me before, I slapped him in the face because I thought he was taking advantange of me. Later on, he told me that he would call me the next day to see how I was doing and that if I ever needed something, to call him. The problem is that he didn't call me the next day, so three days later I called him. Before we hung up he said he would call me later. But it's already been almost two weeks and he still hasn't called me. The problem is that after he told me that he liked me and when he wipped my tears off, I started feeling the same way about him. But now he doesn't call me. What should I do? I'm afraid of losing his friendship. He probably will never talk to me again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2005): Just be totally honest with him and tell him why you reacted that way. If he is a true friend, he will understand. Tell him also how you truly feel about him and let him know you care about not losing his friendship. If you are honest about your feelings, I am sure it will work out. I hope this helps. Take care
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reader, english rose +, writes (17 June 2005):
well he is probably embarrassed and upset about what happened - when you slapped his face you also slapped his ego - how would you feel if you plucked up the courage to tell someone you liked them and that happened. He needs a nice apology, if you cant do it face to face then a card or note would be nice explaining that you didnt mean to react like that and you would like to rewind and start again(even say it was the drink that addled your brain) - that you like him too.Think of what you would like someone to do for you if the tables were turned, flowers and big gestures are appreciated by men as well you know. He isnt going to come to you so keep trying. You may even be in for a bit of a hard time - you might have some grovelling to do so his ego can recover a bit!If he really does like you then he will forgive and forget when you make him feel liked back - if he doesnt then these new feelings you have arent worth it anyway. By the way a real friend would definately forgive you even if you are just friends. If he doesnt forgive was he as much of a friend as you thought?- you havent done anything really bad, you just had a drink and mucked up, we've all done it. Get apologising and get your bloke. good luck.
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reader, madam treudeau +, writes (17 June 2005):
call him again and get straight to the point , don't lolly about the bushes. ask him straight up what are his truest and deepest feelings for you. then, should his answer in your opinion be straight up on the level then tell him how you're feeling towards him. should his answer be the same as before, then will you really know how he honestly feels towards you.trust your inner most feelings and go with them. i think you will choose wisely,you if follow that feeling.
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reader, schlottjl  +, writes (17 June 2005):
 Call, ask to meet and tell him that you were out of your mind and would never have acted that way if sober. Then say that you were startled, but since then have thought about it and are horrified that you would hit a guy that was so good to you. Tell him, (and mean it,) that you are thinking of laying off the booze since you are making decisions that seem to cause lingering consequences. Get his imput and see if he is still cold. If he is, ask if the hit is what cause him to cool or were you misreading him and too drunk. Make it seem that you really want to know and need to hear the truth. When he tells you the truth, be a really big person and thank him. Say you don't want to make that mistake again so (add teasingly) if I cant have you, at least I can learn and some positive comes from it.Really look at what choices you make when drunk. Try to go out with friends and stay sober as an experiment. If you can't stay sober you need AA. If you can stay sober, watch the people that do get drunk and imagine if you want to look like that to others. A drunk NEVER looks as good as they think they do and they look nowhere near as cool. Just watching the people make fools of themselves will be a sobering undertaking ... that is if you can do it at all. It is rather fun and you never have to worry about being a fool. And since you will have the rare clear memory of the night, you will have a lot more personal power.
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reader, D_Missy +, writes (17 June 2005):
You should tell him exactly how you felt. Once he knows this and knows that you have no hard feelings towards him, he SHOULD be fine. I'm sure he'll be able to understand that. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be taken advantage of. A slap may have been a bit over the edge but shit happens. I'm sure everything will work out. Just let him know what you were thinking at the time.
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