A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Just saw husband and bf kissing on the lips. Granted we were in the process of leaving and they were in the house alone while the rest of us were out side. I went to walk from one side of the deck to the other and turned around and saw them kiss on the lips and hug. I never really thought anything of it because I always thought they would peck on the cheek. Not a full blown lip to lip contact.In addition to this they are always flirting but in a playful way - was never worried about till now.Am I over reacting??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): Hi i am an 11 year old girl. If you want a guy to kiss you try and test him if he is scared.If he is you got to kiss him first thats what he wants you to do.Just grab his head and kiss him slowly.But first you got to go on a couple of dates and there you go
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 July 2007):
 Some families kiss each other and friends on the lips and some just kiss on the cheek. I'm a cheek kisser and save the the lip locks for my hubby exclusively. Now if he normally kisses people on the lips then maybe this is no biggy but if he normally kisses friends on the cheek then you'd best sit down with him and have a chat.
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A
female
reader, raychell  +, writes (19 July 2007):
 I'm not trying to imply anything here but there is one thing that is confusing me. You said husband and boyfriend (this is the little bit that confused me). To be honest I would just confront them but in a nice way. The worst thing that can happen is tht they take it the wrong way but it wont put your mind at ease if you dont ask them about it. Let me no how it goes.
Good Luck
XxXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): No you are not. Maybe you could distance yourself from your friend and consider only seeing her alone, or stopping seeing her altogether. What does she say about it? It is about time that you told her to stop flirting with your husband because it makes you feel uncomfortable. See how she reacts. If she is nasty, there is a clue, if she is defensive and makes out you are imagining it, that is a warning to you. If she is upset and concerned and stops straight away...feel a bit better. It is not just her fault if it is true of course, but it is more important to save your marriage than save the friendship
One of my friends has a husband who likes me too much, but she knows I would never reciprocate so she puts up with it. I probably wouldn't if I were her, I would have ditched myself! Perhaps my friend is a better person than me.
Your instincts are quite possibly correct, but you could stop it from going beyond a kiss. You should tell your husband that you are upset with the flirting and feel a line has been crossed. You want him to reassure you that he loves you and stop flirting with your friend. Of course you have to ask him and set your boundary, which would be something like, "If I ever discovered that you were being unfaithful to me I would....[leave, whatever you want to say]"
He will deny it but at least will know how you feel. You must know how he feels about you and how he has been with you so think about that when you decide what to do.
You know about the other checks you can do, like his mobile phone.
If either of them makes out that you are imagining it and is not PRIMARILY concerned and apologetic about hurting your feelings, see a very big red flag.
Look at the situation as thoroughly as you can, find evidence and get facts, then decide what you can put up with and not. Set your position, act and finish this.
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