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These flashbacks and nightmares that remind me of the rape are geting out of control, how do I stop them?

Tagged as: Health, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 September 2008) 15 Answers - (Newest, 25 September 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *andyluvsu01 writes:

When I was 11 almost 12 years old I was raped. Im a very strong person when it comes to bad things happening to me and alot of things have but I wont name them all or we would be here for days. anyway Iv always had the mind set that everything happends for a reson and theres no reson to stress things you cant change but lately I have been having flash backs and nightmares from when I was raped. I wake up in sweat and screaming into my pillow trying to get "him" off me....but its only my blanket.

A few weeks ago i shoved my friend into a brick wall when he huged me because i felt like my friend was "him" (i know for a fact he isnt).

I hate feeling this way....is there anything i can do to get rid of the flash backs and nightmares?

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A female reader, candyluvsu01 United States +, writes (25 September 2010):

candyluvsu01 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

candyluvsu01 agony auntKrAzI BbY,

the only thing i can tell you is time heals all and talking about it helps too but you have to remember it's not your fault..once i relized that it almost seemed like the nightmares and feeling afraid faded out.

im so sorry and if you ever need a friend to talk im here for you..just drop me a message and ill b sure to respond as soon as possible.

good luck XO

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A female reader, KrAzI BbY United States +, writes (19 September 2010):

Hey

I have been raped severL times by middle Ges men. I need help. I have relationship currently but I have been having the nightmares over and over. I want to get rid of them. Plz help me....

Ps he knws about wat has happened to me.

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A female reader, sz7 United Kingdom +, writes (10 April 2010):

hi

i think that is wonderful how you have gone through all of that and can still talk about it.

my friend is also going through the same thing , she is 14 and im confused because i really don't know how to help her.

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A female reader, ilu_ilu_ilu United States +, writes (4 April 2009):

your welcome, i'm so glad things worked out for you. im the a .anonymous posterr up therre.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008):

your amazing if i had gone through that i don't know what i would have done i think its great that you prayed because even though im not born into a religion i think that praying was a good way to help you through something like this because you alway need someone there try talking more to people closer to you about what happened and keep livin

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008):

Candy, your religious. Your god knows everything, he knows you were forced and hurt and he wants the best for you. You are still her, you are strong and you are clever, because your God is watching over you. Never, ever feel bad about what happened. You have done nothing wrong. That guy is a very bad man, he had no right to hurt you. Go and talk to the counsellor, don't hide anything from her, tell her exactly how your feeling. I'm sorry this guy hurt you, men like him don't deserve to have life. Sorry babes, I'm so sorry this has happened to you, it's not fair. But you will go and talk to the counsellor and she will find a way to help you stop the nightmares. If your family knew they would be so very proud of you, you are a very intelligent and brave woman and you should be very proud of yourself and the way you try to deal with things in life.

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A female reader, candyluvsu01 United States +, writes (21 September 2008):

candyluvsu01 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

candyluvsu01 agony auntHEY,

THANK YOU SO MUCH ALL OF YOU....YOUR ADVICE REALLY HELPED....I CALLED THE SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGIST THIS MORNING AND SHE ASKED ME TO COME IN AT LUNCH MONDAY. (IM GOING)

AND THE GUY WHO RAPED ME IS IN JAIL FOR A VERY LONG TIME BECAUSE OF ANOTHER CRIME HE DID....ATTEMPTED MURDER AND ARMED ROBERY....

WHILE I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH MRS. WILLAMS (THE PSHYCOLOGIST) SHE TOLD ME TO WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING I REMEMBER FROM THE TIME I GOT UP THAT MORNING TO THE WEEK AFTER....IT TOOK UP AN ENTIRE NOTEBOOK BUT IN A WEIRD WAY IT HELPED.

THEN I TOLD MY PREACHER WHAT HAPPEND AND HE AND I PRAYED FOR 30 MIN. STRAIGHT AND I FELT LIKE THE WORLD WAS LIFTED OFF OF ME.....AT FIRST I WAS AFRAID TO ADMIT TO GOD THAT I HAD BEEN FORCED TO HAVE SEX BECAUSE I THAUGHT HE WOULD HATE ME FOR IT BUT PASTER JUSTIN EXPLAINED THAT ITS NOT THE SAME AS ACCULY WANTING AND HAVING SEX. (I FELT SO DUMB)

BUT YEAH THANK YALL SO MUCH!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2008):

That sounds like me! When i just turned 11 i was raped by a middle aged guy...I am now 15 and have flashbacks.

when i was almost 14 they started getting out of control and i got counseling it helped some but its easier to talk with friends (Really, really good friends tht you can trust of course!) also helping... tell me if you find a solution tht helps.

Byee

April, Age 15

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008):

Get help immediately.Tell your parents if you haven't already,and get some counseling.You need it bad.I'm so sorry and wish you get the treatment you need.hugs.xxxxxxxx

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A female reader, MuffinGirl Netherlands +, writes (20 September 2008):

MuffinGirl agony auntYou really seems smart and also strong girl. But even you're all you want to be, rape is too much terrible thing to get over in only 2 or even 10 years without talk with anybody. I suppose you're in school, right? Do you have sociology worker or psychologist? Then first step is to talk with her or him. You HAVE TO do it! Your life is too much important to throw away for this bastard who raped you! You need talk, this is really important for you and the only way your nightmares goes away. Then i suggest, tell the police who did you that. You can't let him go away without jail. He'll do that again to someone else. Don't be shame about what happened to you. Don't blame yourself, this was not your fault or anything.

You can't just say past is past and try forget on that, because this is not the right way for you. You can only save your problems if you do something. Please do that! Talk with psychologist, go to the police, just don't wait any longer! You would help yourself and all girls around you. Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008):

OMG! That's a horrible thing to happen, i'm so sorry for you!

You might just be feeling this way because you are going through puberty and experiencing sex and love and whatever, but the trauma of the rape will always be in your subconscious. The best thing to do is to try and talk it out with a shrink, because the more you can open up your feelings the more you will open your heart to relationships. You are the bravest person i have ever known! I'm 14 now and if i was raped i would have probably cracked...

your an amazing, inspiring person and i hope that things will work out for you :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008):

Dear Poster

I have empathy with you; I am really sorry that you had to endure so much at such a young age. You seem a very strong and level headed person and it is of great concern to me that you are having these flashbacks and nightmares. It is obvious that you have not dealt with the issue, but have been suppressing it. I suggest you should contact a counselor to help you to deal with it; you need to work through the deep rooted issues regarding the rape; if not it might "haunt" you and it will have an influence on your life in many ways;

You are still young and your life ahead of you; please do get professional help.

I suggest you ask the counselor to do E.S.R. (Emotional Stress Release) for Past Trauma; I do believe that with that you will be able to put the bad experience behind you and with the suppressed emotions cleared from your memory, you will be able to move forward in your life without have these nightmares or flashbacks haunting you.

E.S.R. is a very effective form of therapy and treatment particularly in cases of past trauma.

Best wishes and keep SMILING.

Please keep us posted.

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A female reader, gabigab Armenia +, writes (20 September 2008):

I was just like that. Exept it wasn't rape (I feel so sorry for you!!!)It was murder (no one got killed) I just kept on watching the news and thinking every night i was gonna die. I relized soon enough that if someone was gonna come and kill me, they would do it the first chance they could, right?

What i'm trying to say is, soon enough the memory will go.

I know it's really hard, that shouldn't happen to ANYONE but, i luckly had my friends there. you migh forget when your with your friends. (sleepovers,Birthday parties, etc...) When you are having fun, you forget time, right? so you might forget memories.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008):

I think that you need to go to a counselor. I was molested when I was 3 and now I am 19 and I still have flash backs but I have learned through the help of others how to handle them. I think that you really need the help of a professional and if at all possible a professional that has been raped. I've found that people who have been through the same experience are always more helpful.

The only thing that I can say for certain is that with time it will become easier and that you will meet a wonderful man that will replace that horrible experience with love and compassion. I have and it was the thing that helped me the most.(Please dont interpret this as go meet someone. You will never be able to have a stable trust worthy relationship if you haven't delt with your demons.)

I hope that I have helped and keep me updated!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008):

hunny i went through the same thing. I still do i was raped about 4 years ago. you have to tell your self that they are nightmares tehy are not real somtimes try not to wake up finish the dream/ night mare it helps they will go away soon give it time!! hope this helps anything else i was also about you age when it happened to me now im 16!

good luck!

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