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female
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anonymous
writes: I really don't know what to do, I have been with this guy for about 9 months and I do love and him and we have a good connection but we have no physical side! its because I don't fancy him! I want to stay with him I really do but can this work with no physical side? please help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (7 December 2005):
 You have been together for 9 months and you say you are not having a sexual relationship because you "dont fancy him?"But then you say you do love him?And.. You just want to be with him.OK...You seem to be just a bit confused here, dont get me wrong, but why on Gods green earth would you want to be with him in the first place, if you dont fancy him?You just shouldnt be wastting your time and his time on a relationship that is going nowhere... doesn't make sense.On the other hand, sex is not everything in a relationship, not at all... it is all about having a meaningful connection, a common ground, sharing all aspects of each other's innermost qualities, sharing the good and the not so good, blaa di blaa and all those nice things, you get my point?Although, once you have connected IN SUCH A WAY, with each other, and that is, if you ever do, then sex can be a wonderful, yes, even spiritual experience you share together.Friends first is a good rule of thumb to follow when getting into a relationship with someone, because after the sex has cooled down, you are going to rely heavily on the friendship side of things to keep you happily together... friendship is the glue in a relationship.So come on, if you really actually dont fancy this guy, you shouldnt be pursuing anything further with him.Whatever you decide, do whatever is going to bring about happiness for you both,dont have sex with him if you are not into it, but I do think if this guy has stuck around so long with you and he aint getting none, then he must be one helluva guy... seriously.Be happy and be fair, ok?Take Care.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005): Does he want to have sex with you?Are you a 'cold fish' in general or are you just not into this guy. If you are both not that into each other I think you have to admit that you cant force this fit.
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