A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:2 days ago I had a first date with a guy I met online. the date, while not a complete disaster, was not the best. i think we were both a bit nervous. At the end of the first part of the date, he asked me out to dinner (he like purposed doing beforehand), I hesitated and I guessed he sensed that because he said that it was a bit too early for dinner. and it was early, it was around 4. So he said, next time and that I had his number. And we parted ways. I guess I came off as uninterested? And maybe i was, I don't know. But there definitely wasn't an instant chemistry thing. But I do want to see him again and get to know him a bit better. By telling me I had his number, does that mean, I have to call him first? Or do you think he'll get back in contact? Or should I just let it go (I'm not sure if he's into me)?Thanks
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (3 December 2010):
 If you're not that into him why waste your time and his on a 2nd date? There was no chemistry, connection, liking on your part then I would call him the next day and tell him you'd rather keep it as friends. Or don't call him at all, he'll get the idea. Generally, it is polite to tell him with a phone call you think you're better off as friends.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): it sounds like he sensed your hesitancy, got the impression you may not have been interested in seeing him again, and left the ball in your court. he made it clear he wanted to go out with you again, but left you with the decision of whether you want to or not, so you should be the one to call him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 December 2010):
 First dates can be really awkward. Even if there was INSTANT chemistry, maybe it's worth another try?
One thing though, If there was NOTHING that made YOU think; "hum... I want to talk to him some more, get to know him." Then DON'T go out with him again. don't feel sorry for him or affraid to hurt his feelings, it's better to be upfront and say, hey, I don't think the two of us are a good match and then move on.
I think it was VERY respectful that he told you to give him a call if you wanted to go out for dinner/date again.
PS I would call him either was with in 3-4 days TOPS of the date.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 Define "chemistry ".
If you mean that you weren't immediately smitten and you did not feel butterflies in your stomach,or the impulse to rip his clothes off,- that's fine. The ball is in your court, - give him a call.
If instead you mean that he sounds like a good guy, but for some reason you find him unreedemably unattractive,- leave it be, you'd be wasting his time.
It may be shallow or superficial, but everybody has his /her own pet peeves in term of looks , and it's very debatable if mental compatibility can totally make up for a lack of physical spark. Maybe it can, maybe not.
But as for me, I would not like to keep a guy hanging there while I decide if I can stomach being physically close to him.
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