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*onfused_gurl
writes: How do I get over this guy??? I am 13 and he was my first boyfriend. I really liked him, I thought I loved him at one time, but I was never sure, so I don't think that I really did, but I really really liked him. We went out for a year. We have known each other since I was 5. Now this year he was at a different school, and one weekend I went to see him. He was acting really weird and he tried to act normal but I can read him like an open book, so it didn't matter how much he tried. Then once I got home (I didnt get a chance to ask him what was wrong even though I knew exactly what was wrong) I had an email from him that he had sent like 30 minutes after I left from visiting him. How do I get over him?? He broke up with me a month ago. I was starting to accept it and move on, but then I was hangin out w/ his sister one day (she is like my best friend) and I saw him for the first time. It opened up a whole new can of worms, and it started to hurt really bad again. I couldnt handle it, and I had to leave, because he wants to still be friends. I really want to be at least friends with him! But how can I act normal around him?! I tried for a while, and it worked, but then there was weird silences and stuff, so it didnt work out to great. But we used to be really great friends before we went out. and we both agreed that we would be good friends no matter what happened between us. HELP?! thanks in advance!
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reader, confused_gurl +, writes (17 April 2005):
Actually, I am going to answer my own question. Somehow I started thinking that he would be really different when I saw him. But he is still his sensitive self and his personality is just the same. I saw him yesterday when our church went somewhere for the evening. I just have to be myself. It was good to not see him for a month, but now I have moved on enough and I was starting to get ideas in my head that werent at all true, and so now I think seeing him sometimes is good. I might just be weird, but it helped me to see him. Since it has been a month since he dumped me. so yeah, if anyone else is having this problem, just be yourself and dont like stalk the guy/gurl.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (16 April 2005):
 You are trying to deal with feelings of hurt right now so it is really hard for you to act normally around this boy. People much older than you would also find it far from easy too so please don't give yourself a hard time.It would be a little easier if you didn't see him for a while as this would allow the healing process to begin and get going. Probably a bit longer than a month because of what happened before but reality has a habit of kicking us sometimes and not always giving us that much needed time to heal by not having to see the other person.So, you will have to try very hard to start the healing process yourself. You need distraction so I suggest that you go out and have some fun with your friends-even if you don't really feel like it. Concentrate, or try to concentrate, on other things for a while. Give yourself some space. I'm not suggesting you actually avoid his sister but try to keep contact with her at a bit of a minimum right now and see other friends. This will help you to not think about him quite so much.If you do find yourself spending a bit of time with his sister, don't talk about him. Talk about all that you are doing right now and all the things you would like to do.If you bump into him, do the same. Talk about your life. You would like to be friends with him again but you need to give yourself a bit of time to recover first. If you have to, walk away from him but do so politely, saying that you have things to do and recognise that you are doing really well, that you are coping excellently with your feelings.If you encounter silences again from him, fill them with your own interests. He is probably struggling with his own feelings and the pain of growing up in this rather difficult world.Take up a new interest. Is there anything you really would like to do? It would be great if you could meet some new friends.As time passes, you will find it easier to be friends with him as the hurt will subside and other things will be occupying your mind.You are doing fine. Don't give up, try and enjoy time with friends and it will all happen naturally.Hope this helps.
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