A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:it appears i have been written about on this site by my previous partner.first of all the facts she has written are to an extent untrue.Yes i lived with her for 2 years without a job and no i did'nt sit my fat ass on the sofa all day long or on the internet come to that matter admittedley i spoke to people on the net but as a friendship bases now according to her these women are slags and sluts but to me they are just friends who probably know what my life has been consisting of before i met this woman.when i have tried to speak to my partner she has thrown it all back in my face but does'nt even attempt to understand what i have been through. she also writes about being stopped about seeing her family and friends this is also not the case as i have actively said to her go out shopping with them etc..... and which she has done on numerous occasions.now i don't have much of what i would call a family although they are some are still alive today we have no or very little contact.she has also written about my son who said he had kicked her and banged his head against the wall and although at the time i told him not to lie because i know she would'nt do this she does'nt realise either that this poor litttle 9yr old child has been through an emotional time all throughout he's life and has been having a form of counselling through he's school. how do you tell a 9yr old child that '' sorry your not allowed to visit me here and to never see your friends you have made here ever again''. she also writes about suicide being a blackmail subject it's not although yes i admit i have thought about it but you know what they say people who have spoken about it are too yellow bellied to do it.I have been to the doctors about my situation and how i feel and have been put on medication for depression now if depression is a crime to you all then jail me i'm guilty.I have even asked for counselling because i understand there is a deep routed problem within me possibly my brother dying of cancer when i was 21 and the fact that my ex-wife used to physically and emotionally abuse me and no that does'nt give me an excuse to do the same but it makes you learn to never let anyone use you as a physical and emotional battering ram ever again it gives you an inner strength so to speak.yes she has financially saw me through for 2 yrs of which i am eternally greatful.When i first met this woman eveything was fine and we enjoyed each other immensely and i was asked to move in wit her i thought about it long and hard and decided yes she is the one i want to be with even though it did mean moving 250 miles away from my home town and leaving a son who i love so much and whom i saw everyday of the week behind.the following day i moved in with her i got a text on my phone to contact home immediately so i rang home only to be told my other brother had collapsed and died.so yeah i guess i did get into a state of depression then aswell but yet she does'nt understand the impact that has even though she has lost a mother and father in recent years.i also found my father dead on his bedroom floor 5 years ago and it all hurts like hell i must confess but at least with me having a breakdown emotionally i have been brave enough to seek help it takes a stronger man to admit he has a pyschiatric problem than it doe's to just brush it under the carpet.I have also been accused of not trying hard enough to get along with her son who is a teenager and has his own life to lead he's mother is'nt close to him either he just blackmails her into getting what he wants by abusing her and threatening to sell things from the house to fund his drink and drug habbit.Now her son is now 16 and is becoming a man which is lovely to see that he is standing on his own 2 feet and learning things in life are'nt easy or given to you on a plate life has it's ups and downs just some people have more downs than up's.i really wish i could find an answer to all this because although you who have read her posts about me and have told her to get rid of this loser and abuser will probably dismiss me without any question i really do feel alot of love for this woman guess i just have difficulty in putting it accross. thankyou for anyone who has taken time to read this i hope i can get the help i need to sort out my inner most feelings maybe it will make me a better man in the future.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): If the letter your girlfriend wrote is the one I am thinking of you say it is full of untruths and then go on to admit almost all that she wrote too. your letter is full of how you feel and what you have been through and although you say she too has lost both parents recently there is no mention of how she may feel about this or didnt you ask. you say you speak to friends on the internet and to your dr but it appears you dont speak to each other,who does she have to talk to? we all have things to deal with in life especially as we get older and lose loved ones it would seem your about to lose another loved one unless you stop with the self pity and look at the bigger picture. her son does drugs and drinks and makes threats to her and yet you dont tell us what you do to help her with this either, she has clearly got more on her plate than she can cope with and perhaps needs a man she can lean on not one who leans on her, my wife and I lost the ability to communicate and she is now married to a friend of mine dont make the same mistakes I did. I suggest you ask for family counselling if its not too late and i wish you both luck in your future
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): Living with a depressive causes immense emotional pressure on the other person. Many people suffer from depression as i do, but still manage to hold down jobs. Your g/f must be feeling this way because no sooner had you got together your depression started coming out, and when she thought you were going to be couple who fought together, she obviously feels like she is fighting alone. Bad timing. Credit due you went for help for yourself but what about her. Who is helping her to deal with all that? Do you think it is something she can brush under the carpet and ignore? If you were ok in the begining well you are not ok now. She needs help and support too. Wake up. Look at it from both sides. Put the pc in the garbage and go out for a drink together, meet real live people, mutual friends. Not ones that you shut her out from. Thats not right and its not fair.
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A
female
reader, Serinity  +, writes (28 February 2008):
 You're right, there are two sides to every story but we can only respond to what the poster stated. And if you read her post you realize what she really put you down and didn't explain the issues at hand as you did. Not only that, but if your referring to the same post I read yesterday then she made it as if you were the one posing the question. So in light of your response then yes, I do have a totally different opinion about the matter. But we can only comment on the information that is being provided.
I'm sorry that you're going through such a rough patch and hopefully she is there for mental support vs just monotary. Life is not always easy and because of that you have the opportunity to make it truly great. You have to battle your fears and conquer the battles of life's challenges to make a difference in life. Difficulties provide you with truly magnificent opportunities to create value and to find meaning and fulfillment in living.
I wish you all the best, God bless!
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (28 February 2008):
 Of course there are ALWAYS 2 sides to every story. And advice given to people on here is only based on what we know through our own experiences and what the "poster" has told us.
At the end of the day the "poster" knows whats going on far better than we do and usually things are a lot more complicated than they appear in the stories.
However, I did enjoy reading your entire post and am glad you have the guts to grab the bull by the horns and do something about it. It is certainly extremely difficult and you've been through a hell of a lot.
I myself have been through an emotionally abusive relationship and also had to deal with my Dad passing away suddenly, 5 years ago on Fathers day when I was only 23. So I can appreciate where you're at.
Keep it up and be strong! I think your other half may be feeling the burden of financially supporting the family and this is probably why she is feeling unsure/frustrated.
Well done on seeking help! I know this might sound sexist but often men don't do this... Women tend to be a lot more open-minded about seeking counselling etc.
Perhaps you need a kick up the arse? You've been through a really bad time but you also need to appreciate your other half's needs to... And both your happiness.
Far easier to say than do. Best of luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008): very intresting, im really intreaged, whats the title of her article, i too have had a really rough time with things which my ex sees a totally diffrent perspective on and attacks my charector with so i totally understand there s 2 sides to every story
good to hear you dealing with everything well,sounds like youve been through hell of alot.
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (28 February 2008):
 HEY!!
Wow that was long!! :) .. I know it must be a shock to have found what your ex had written about you.. I actualy dont know what was written apart from what you have just explained then..
WISH YOU LUCK, Feel free to mail me at any time x x
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