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anonymous
writes: Just yesterday I ended a short but blissful relationship with my partner, even though we love each other very much!! Mad I know, however my reasoning was good; everything I had been told and experienced with him turned out to be a lie. He didnt cheat, he just fabricated his life and covered his (extremely dodgy)past with more lies. When confronted, he continued to lie despite the evidence in front of him. I am absolutely gutted, however, knowing he is the first man who never cheated on me and treated me right.....most of the time anyway!! (He did always put me second to drugs, admitted addiction and I was helping him give up) Do you think I made the right decision by what you read? I hate drugs, I hate lies. But I love him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2005): Yes, you made the right decision. You sound like a very kind and compassionate person, and you only wrote three short paragraphs. I can see this about you. Unfortunately, so do many other including the losers who like to take advantage of people like you and me. You are a smart person; getting over him will just take time.
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reader, annabelle_me +, writes (3 June 2005):
Maybe he lied about his past because he felt shame, It sounds to me that you made him want to be a better person, thats why he admitted his problem to you, he wanted to change. He's going to have a long road to recover his addiction ahead and I hope he makes it, but you don't need this in your life you're not at fault here. He needs to beat this for himself not for someone else. You made the right choice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2005): Yes, you did make the right decision. Well done!!
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reader, purple_angel +, writes (3 June 2005):
Only you can answer those questions. You have to make your mind up, are you prepared to put up with his drug addiction and lies. Are you prepared to come second in his life? Remember that it will be a long term thing, this isn't something that he will be able to turn off instantly, its a long hard journey to fight drug addictions. Do you think your love for him is strong enough?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2005): YES YeS Yes!!! You are a smart rock. Don't crumble. Maybe down the road. But, only after you are totally satisfied with his efforts to mend himself. See that he can be totally honest with you and more importantly himself. Make sure he is mature and strong enough to allow mistakes, feelings, insecurities all be a part of him. Past, present, and future. That he can hold himself accountable for his actions. He doesn't need to hide and find addictions of any sort to cover up his reality. He is human and will make mistakes, but being open and honest will give him a better self-image and hopefully hinder any additional reasons to abuse drugs. The self respect, honesty and strength will show through and he will get a warmer response from his environment.
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