A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 35 year old male and Financial consultant. My girlfriend is 25. We have a beautiful two year old daughter and have been dating and living together for the past three years.She traveled to NY three times since we began dating.Hasn't worked for over two years and shows very little interest in finding a job. She has a seriously immature attitude and rations sex (maybe once weekly). She sleeps or looks at TV all day long. I even do all the cooking and laundry on weekends. It's very frustrating. I love her and my daughter, but often think about throwing in the towel. what should I do??
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers; much appreciated.
I'm a virgin to this sorta activity...so I'm very impressed!!
I expected everyone to tell me kick her to the curb. I'm surprised your answers seem genuine & with substance.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I've spoken to her a million times. Usually with improvement for a few days, then it's back to D drawing board all over again. She's educated, had a decent job (which was a big criteria for me when dating). She resigned before traveling to NY to have the baby. I advised that there were far more benefits in not resigning...but...that's history!! SMH...sometimes I simply lol....I really know how to choose ladies; luv a challenge!!
(smile)
I recently encouraged her to exercise, as she's gaining a little weight:) Hopefully she will begin zumba soon.
I am a very direct but friendly person. So she knows & understands how I feel. We discuss future plans, but I often get the impression she can't plan past today!! Maybe she's just using me for now & has no plans to be with me long term. That's how i feel sometimes.
She's an only child - Her mom is always treating her like a spoil child!! She very attractive, had a short modeling stint & is ultra popular. No doubt I'm attracted to her, & maybe 1/2 of T'n'T too..lol..but more importantly, I despise the thought of not living with my daughter. I love her too much!!(She's my lil angel)
People always tell her stuff about me...most of which are untrue. I'm 100% genuine to her. No Affairs!! Have lots of friends, including women, but I'm not up to anything. She doesn't trust me, and I'm concerned now that she might do something silly cause she feels I'm up to something...Hummmm....This is all so frustrating!!
I don't wanna break up with her, cause i vow that if i do...I'll become a single 'DOG' for the rest of my life!!!
A
female
reader, mooh  +, writes (30 May 2012):
She is taking you for granted and doesn't understand her chance. People like that usually only realize what a gem their partner is when it's too late, after their partner has no more patience left in only giving and giving and never receiving anything in return.
Don't be afraid to be direct to her, tell her how you feel and you would appreciate her to help out. if she wants to make you happy she will do it (even if it's little things like doing house chores or cooking).
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A
female
reader, Niri +, writes (30 May 2012):
i am to assume you talked to her about it. a little scolding might help too.
But overall she seems quite lazy. a good way for a woman to actually break out of that is some exercise or just simply getting active. you should try t encourage to do this because it helps to stimulate the brain and she might start having aspirations for herself and the perhaps the relationship as well.
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A
male
reader, Xearo +, writes (30 May 2012):
Have you tried to talk to her genuinely about these problems? Genuinely in terms of mmm....no argument and that sort of stuff. What are her goals in life? Ambitions? Usually in a couple people try to work things out and find interests in each other. She is obviously very young and undoubtedly leeches off you. Buuuut you should do something about this and if she doesn't do anything then I don't see why you should stay with her.
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