A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex-girlfriend dumped me in september last year, before that we'd been going out for about a year and a half. She'd broken up with me once before that, but we got back together less than a week later, and we spent the time apart talking and acting the same as when we were together. Thinking back, I think that I could have gotten back together with her if I'd treated her better after she dumped me the second time (I was upset because she never gave me a reason, and I vented my anger at her). But now months have passed and I'm still not over her, whenever a conversation starts between us (which became rare after breaking up) it always becomes a natural conversation, with jokes etc. and I frequently think about her (normally about getting back together with her). I just want to know how to go about trying to get back together with her, or if I should even try. I just know that I at least want to be friends again, as even before we went out we shared everything. Please let me know what you think I should do and how to go about it.
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female
reader, G's_Girl  +, writes (30 May 2012):
 Hi Anonymous,
It sounds like you could have potential to win her back, if you have an open honest discussion with her.
You need to find out what was the reason she broke up with you the first time around. The answer to that, will reveal a lot. If it was because of someone else, then she isn't as committed as you would wish. If it was because of something you contributed to, then it's something you need to know before you can try and change or adapt to.
Even though you got back together a week later, you had unresolved feelings, because you didn't know why she had broken up with you, so you felt hurt and vented your anger at her. Of course, this led to your next break up.
You really need to have a heart to heart with her, about what really happened. Let her share all her thoughts and feelings, so that you can understand what is going on. From there, you can then determine whether to try to win her back, or move on.
Depending on her answers, if it's all favourable, you can then share with her that you haven't stopped thinking about her, that you still want to be with her, and what you truly feel.
If nothing else, the fact you both remain friendly with conversations and jokes, you can have your wish of remaining friends, if she doesn't want a relationship after all. However, it looks positive that you may have a chance, so good luck! Definitely give it a try.
Best Wishes.
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