A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am riddled with guilt, anxiety, and excitement. I am married 15 years to a man I have known 20 years. Recently I met a man at a place I usually shop. We struck up a conversation, and met almost every day there. Finally he asked me if I am married, I said yes and he looked crushed. I accidentally hooked up to him on facebook (I blame my new phone) and he friended me. He already had my phone number and he started sending me texts about how he felt about me. It made me feel a younger woman again and I sent him replys. One day a couple weeks ago he was at home and texted me a question, if he could send me a picture of him and I said yes, he was naked. I got shakey, nervous, and excited. I went into my bathroom and sent him naked pictures of myself and we masturbated to our pictures. Now I am racked with guilt and stopped everything. I never masturbated before, but it excites me and I want to see him again. He is temporarily out of the area. I don't want to cheat on my husband, we are having some problems, neglect, anger, I feel taken advantage of (it seems I do everything around the house) we both work and he has a second job as well. I don't want to lose my husband but the thought of being with this man excites me terribly. I don't want him to feel bad or to hurt him or my husband, but I feel terrible for both of the. and myself. I did try to rationalize my masturbation by comparing it to men who masturbate to porn and girlie mags without their wives knowing. What am i to do? Help me please.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 June 2013):
 Your body is pleading, OK, ...but could you not simply answer to its pleas by masturbating ? Do you really need company to masturbate ? Use your fantasy.. a vibrator... a Brad Pitt's picture... Btw, this is still a shortcut , you should either try and fix your real sex life with your real husband- or leave your husband once for all and seek for another companion if your problems are irreparable. But, at least, you would not be cheating.
That's the things with bodies, btw : they often " plead " for the wrong thing, that chocolate cake that will make your scale creak under your weight... those cigarettes that will give you lung cancer,... that crack dose that will burst your brain..... bodies are big on instant gratification. That's where a bit of self discipline becomes very necessary...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2013): he's back. My best friend at work says I must break it off and confront my husband with our problems, but I am afraid. I hate myself but I am still excited. I really cannot think straight anymore. My head tells me one thing but my body is pleading for something else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2013): You are cheating on your husband already.
Either divorce your husband and move on with this other guy or
Stay with your husband, change your number, delete him from facebook and cease all contact. Work on your marriage and tell your husband of your infidelity.
Have you considered that you are going through a slump in your marriage and you need to liven things up with your husband?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2013): It is pretty simple. If you really loved your husband you would identify problems in your marriage and attempt to help resolve conflicts. Marriage and relationships are hard and require work no body can argue with that. My relationship of three years is successful only because both my boyfriend and I want to keep working at it and re creating the magic or the excitement you feel with this other man. I have had the same urges you had with the other man but I take a look at what I have built and say a few minutes of want and lust don't equal the hard work I have put into my relationship of over three years. Think-carefully of your actions. xoxo good luck.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (29 May 2013):
 If you don't want to lose your husband then stop messing around with another man...it really is that simple. There is no alternative, no magic wand to make it all go away...you are an adult, you know what you are doing and only you can make it stop.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 May 2013):
 Cindy's absolutely correct. You have already cheated on your husband. Your rationalization doesn't hold water. Now your choice is to either knock off the nonsense and work on the problems in your marriage OR make the biggest mistake of your life because a few tingles.
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A
female
reader, EventHorizon  +, writes (29 May 2013):
 Hmm you are a married woman, best to sit down and talk to your husband. Maybe not happy in your marriage and need to get the spark back. Masturbating is fine, nothing to be ashamed of but finger banging to another man and sending him pictures of yourself naked is out of line. How would your husband feel?. Try and identify why you are not happy and work on that.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (29 May 2013):
Ahem... I guess it's a matter of opinions, as for me I believe that you can cheat also without direct physical contact, and to me bringing to orgasm a live person , that you know and lust for,- although from a distance as in phone sex or cybersex- fully qualifies as cheating. I don't see what this has it got to do with watching porn or magazines- the girls in magazines or films do not get aroused or have orgasms while men are watching them ( they don't even know that a certain particular man is watching them ), while you did, and that makes a difference. So, technically, you should say " I don't want to cheat on my hisband AGAIN ".
Which, btw, is already your answer !. If you don't want to cheat- then don't cheat, who's forcing you ? It sounds like unluckily you've got quite a few problems in your marriage, but it's not by masturbating on this guy's pics that you'll solve them. You'll have either to find a way to solve them together with your husband- or to decide that your marriage is beyond repair , and terminate it.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (29 May 2013):
 Its simple you are married and love your husband. You need to stop this "affair" before you lose everything.
All relationships start of with the excitement and ends in a comfortable lazy companionship. So stop behaving like a teenager with raging hormones and wake up befor eyou find yourself in serious trouble and being an unfaithful wife.
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