A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This seems like such an inconsequential thing to ask as compared to some other questions here but its been bothering me for a while. We haven't been together for a long time, only about 5-6 months, but I think she's the greatest thing in the world, and I think thats the problem. It seems that whenever I do even the slightest thing wrong i beat myself up over it for days afterwards and get anxious that its all over. I'm sure I'm taking things too seriously, but I can't help it.What I'm trying to say is that when she tells me I did something wrong, even some tiny little thing, that a normal person wouldn't dwell on, It hurts me much more than I think it should. I mean, its bothering me because if i take to small things this way i don't know how i would handle anything more serious, and it seems to me that this is eating away at me, and will keep doing so until i'm afraid of putting one toe out of line. What can I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 You need to start trusting yourself.
A good point to start, is to know that you deserve only the best. Don't ever think that you are so lucky to have this girl. Yes, you are, but she is equally lucky to have you. Such a considerate guy.
It is natural when you love somebody, to want everything to be absolutely perfect. Sit her down, and discuss with her how it makes you feel when she points out stuff you do wrong so often. You need to do this otherwise she'll control your entire life.
Believe that you are worthy. Because you are. Trust that you are doing the best to your ability, and take each day as it comes. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't mean that you are at fault, it just means it is not working.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): I can relate to what you're saying. I was really in love with a guy and I thought the world of him but I would get upset at myself for getting upset by him. Even if he was in the wrong I still got upset at the way I would react and then all the worrying got the better of me and I ended up being really resntful that he didnt understand how I felt.I think that you should take sometime for yourself to do things that interest you. Its lovely to be with someone that you care about but its impossible to be with eachother all the time. You just need to remeber who you are and even if you do take a bit of time for yourself, if your girl cares she will show you she wants to be with you.Everyone makes mistakes you shouldn't beat yourself up it'll just make you miserable. Take your feelings seriously and talk to people who care about you about your feelings. If you bottle them up you'll end up using them against your girlfriend and feel bitter and guilty which you shouldn't do the fact you feel strongly about this person and that you dont want to jeopardise what you have shows that you're human and that you're not irratic.
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A
female
reader, peaches83  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 i think you need to speak to someone proffesional. Doe sthis come from maybe something in your childhood where you were always told that you did wrong??
By speaking to someone that deals with this sort of thing you will be able to address the issuse and build up on it.
All the best
Peaches
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