A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i m 31 years old and my boyfriend was 45 years old.He always said he is old man now,sex not so in his interest but everytime we had sex,it always so pleasureable and exciting,sometimes once in a week,or twice,maybe thrice and 4 times also occurs before, our highest record in 2 hours time we had 2 time sex. sometimes it will reach my mind that he is such a lecher so easily get aroused by me, i find it hard to believe he dont have other woman, he actually married in his country,currently working in my country, they been living apart for almost 4 years, before i got to know him, he only went back home once for almost 3 years and wife only visited him once, so he said he have no more feeling for his wife, during our dating period for 9 months, he went back home for 2 time, each trip 3 weeks, every time he went back he convince me that he been sleeping apart from his wife,they never sleep together, does this possible?? i find it hard to believe..then he said lets just have once month once sex, dont be too often, he will get exhausted for the excitement, he couldnt take excitement too often, his stress made him losing sex desire often,his priority is to build up his business again n become successfull to be able to give better life to his family and me, he always had lots meeting, get to know lots people from all trade, lots entertainment also, and he also a drinker, im worried he will sleep with other woman when he drunk or maybe have other gf,he convinced me he was not like other man, he will only have sex if he got feeling,that means only have sex with me, not even with his wife....because he had lots assosiates who is attractive and capable woman, i have lots fear and worries, i find it hard to believe he only have platonic relationship or only business relationship with other woman, can i really trust n believe his words?? and everytime if he went drinkin the night before,the next day he will ask sex from me,i dont know is his action just to convince me that he did not have sex with other woman even though he was drunk, he only want to have it with me,does it possible for man who cheat on their gf yet can have sex with their gf after they had sex with other woman?? especially for guys at the ages of 45??and normally for a guy stamina and sexual desire at the age of 45 years old, how long they can last without having sex?? and if they had sex with other woman ,are they able to have sex again on the same day with their gf? or the next day with their gf?? or few days later?? im always curious over this issue, and we had numerous quarrel over this issue, he said i dont trust him, yes indeed i dont felt secure with him, due to his married status, due to his excitement and sex desire when had sex with me?? how i can determine he had sex with other woman when we had sex on the day itself or next day or few days later?? n recently we had a cold war, he asked for a separation in terms that we no longer had sex for almost 10 days, its really our longest period of not having sex except the times when he was back to his country with his wife 3 weeks, but he still wanted be to be by his side helping him in his business yet he said he will not patch back with me, i was too wilfull and stubborn, i cant trust him enough, he said he can trust fully on me, why i cant?? i told him i didnt have lots entertain, other than working and my normal healthy routine activity, i didnt go out at night often drinking, or lots guys associates, i dont even hang out with any guy only hang out with girls, so he can be 100% sure and trust on me, i m wondered now ...for 10 days he never touch me, can he control his sexual desire?? is that possible he had other woman and sleep with them??? i felt very insecure always, we had lots sex, i dont feel secure, we had less sex or never had sex longer than our normal time, i also felt insecured.....how can i determine he dont sleep with other woman even though he never touch me for 10 days?? can somebody give me some advice and guidance??somehow i do felt that at the early stage he gave me lots sex to secured my heart,he do felt insecure cos i was young ,attractive and beautifull and so much younger, if he cant satisfy me, i will leave him n find other younger and strong man, after together for period of time he finally can trust me, n wanna cut down sex w me due to his age, as what he said, cant take too much excitement, and now he put on test to me, if we never had sex for long will i find other man and leave him, he still nice to me, basically we just like other couple just we dont ahve sex and we are in the stage of breaking up.and he dont want to convince me we will patch back, but i see there was some unsaid sign, through our chat daily sometimes he gave some hints, i dont know its purposely or he simply blunt to it without him realize,can someone help please......????
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (14 September 2012):
 You are cheating with a married man, therefore you can never be sure that he doesnt have other women, because you are 'the other woman'! He is a married man with a family, he is working to try and support them and you are just something to keep him entertained while he is in a different country from his wife.
You are never going to be able to trust him if he's married - because you know that he is cheating on his wife with you, so you know what he is capable of.
I dont see a future for this relationship, he is too old for you and he is married so he can never give you what you want. End the relationship for good and move on, find a single man who is trustworthy.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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