A
female
age
30-35,
*xsecretsxx
writes:It's been a while since I have been on DearCupid and things were going great with my boyfriend of 1yr5mo. until last month when his father became so wrapped up in believing that my family, financial situation, and myself ulitmately were not good enough for his son. Because I'm apparently 'not good enough' his father, who is also his employer gave him the choice of stay with me and losing his home, job, and vehicle, or leaving me and keeping that all. I told him goodbye today because I don't want to be the cause of him losing everything, but now I'm sad to say that I'm feeling depressed and abandoned. I just wanted to know how many other people would have made my choice. How many would have grown balls and told their parents to go %^ and ^ themselves. And how many would have asked him to give up everything. Ulitmately what you reply will make me feel better. Thanks for reading about my situation. Your trulyxxsecretsxx
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female
reader, seethree +, writes (5 January 2010):
Similar situation happened to me. At a dinner party my best friend dragged me to at her boyfriends house & I met him. We began seeing each other but kept it a secret from his arabic cousins. He would make up a lie and come see me. This went on for some time and it was wonderful, he was the only guy I ever let my guard down. We had such an innocent love I had never had. I'd leave before I was left. We shared so many interests it never stopped. From Star Wars to computers to european soccer. Till his youngest cousin found out (by going through his phone) and told him either the family or me. That if we continued to see each other his uncle would fire him. When I found this out I didn't know what to do, I told him whatever he decides I'll understand. I felt I couldn't force him to choose like that. We still saw each other mostly late at night... The last time I saw him he told me he'd never stop talking to me... That he was going to do everything possible to change his cousins mind. And that we'd have a Star Wars marathon the next day. All I got the next day was bad news. I already knew Arab families were close like this, and that his little cousin had a small crush on me (he's 18) since he was 16. I didn't think it won't matter this much...
I think about him every second of the day and the night time is worst. I can't talk to other guys, I've tried and I get bored easily when I realize what I'm trying to. I want to burn his jacket every time I hug it to go to sleep. I constantly have to skip so many songs on my playlist because it reminds me of him. Because I know he's going through the same thing. I want to text/call him so bad. And I can't. I thought it was just me and him. Little did I know there was another force hovering above us. I hate him and love him at the same time... Maybe everyone's right, he wasn't a man enough to stand up for us... But I don't know... I really don't. Sometimes I wish he would have just lied to me and said HE didn't want to be with me anymore... Or he found someone else... Just to make it easier for me.
And I truly need advice even tho I already know what it is. Its obviously to move on. I just had to get it out of my system finally because all my best friend tells me is get over it, you're making a big deal...
Its just a shock for me to be in this position.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 October 2009):
All I can say is that you've done the right thing. If he'd chosen you, who's to say that he woudn't have turned out like his own father, or even resented you for making him choose. I think you'll find out that you're better off ultimately. Give yourself plenty of time to heal, then when you're ready, find a guy who isn't owned by his parents and will actually want you.
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A
female
reader, nicole90 +, writes (16 October 2009):
 That is horrible. No one should have to choose between necessities and love. Especially when it's your parents taking it away. With a relationship that long it shows commitment. You showed you truly cared about him by leaving. He should show the same by working it out. For example, getting another job, explaining to parents how he feels about you. Love doesn't know possession. If you truly love someone its because of who they are not what they drive. I would have done the same thing because it shows you're not looking to make him choose. It's something each person in a healthy relationship should want to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): Im really sorry to hear this has happened.I would have though this was looong over, seems like a 1600's thing to me.the truth is you have lost nothing as if you ment anything to him then he wouldnt have broken up with you.Its actually him who has lost out as the worst thing in life you can do is let someone else decide your relationships. thats how you miss out on the best ones.The good news is that now your free to meet the partner you are ment to be with and hes going to get the girl daddy decides is right (he'll hate her within 2.7 seconds)
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