A
female
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*ello05
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. Everything is wonderful, we love each other so much and we cannot get enough of each other. I have never been happier and I know he feels the same way. We have recently decided that we are ready to take the next step and move in with each other. About a week ago he told me his deep dark secret: he lied to me about his age. I am 23, and I thought he was 34. Turns out he is 36. I know it is only a 2 year difference, but it is still a lie. I love him with all of my heart, and I want nothing more then to spend my life with him. Is this a glimpse into our future, or do I forgive and let live? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): Well first of all, "the next step" should be getting engaged and then married, not moving in together.
But in answer to your question: if there are other small lies, then this is a pattern that will eventually sting you -- guaranteed. If this was just a one-time lie, then he probably just told it because you are so young and he didn't want to lose you. He probably started telling it early on, and then could never find a good way to "correct" it with you.
Five months is kinda fast to be so certain about someone. You're very young and should take at least a year to a year and a half before committing to this. Keep in mind, he's sexy now, but you'll be 37 married to a 50-yr-old. If you don't mind, then great. Just something to be aware of.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Anika +, writes (17 January 2006):
If this is the only lie he's told you, I'd say forgive but don't forget. Talk about it with him and talk about why it gives you pause. Then don't mention it again.
If he's lied to you about other things, as small as they may be, you may want to start thinking about whether or not this is a situation you are willing to tolerate. Little lies turn into big lies very quickly.
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A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (15 January 2006):
Oh my gawd! Shock! horror! he lied about his age. Youwait until you get to 30 then you will be happily lying through your teeth about your age.
His small lie doesnt mean he will go on lying about important issues in his life. Laugh it off and tease him about being the Ancient old man in your life.
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