A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't even know where to start... I don't know what to do anymore.Basically me and my partner of a year and a half now are on very rocky times, if you ask him he would probably tell you it's entirely my fault, but as usual only about 20% of his story would be true. I will admit I spy on him, but only because of the things he's done. Some examples include messaging another girl wrong things while I was pregnant. She told me and shown me screenshots but he still denies he was in the wrong. Throughout our whole relationship he's acted like a compulsive liar, messaging weird things to other woman and telling me stories that I (secretly) know aren't true. The problem? You've probably heard it before but I think somewhere deep down I love him.... I want to know if we can survive this, what I can do... Usually wen I find out he's done something dodgy I give him the silent treatment until it explodes into a row where I have to be cryptic but I can't do it anymore, it's not like he does it when we are on the rocks either, we could litterally be going good for a month then he will do something that he would hate me for!I have no idea if he's physically cheated on me, but I feel he has done emotionally on so many occasions. He's so secretive I don't know if I will ever trust him.Do I cut my loses go through the pain and get it over and done with or attempt to work through it? When we're good I guess he really makes me happy, he shown at a bad time in my life and made it worthwhile. But I don't know what's become of us, if we stay together i feel we'll continue this war until we loath each other but on the other hand I want the man back that shows me he's worthwhile, inbetween the times of him doing devastating things
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female
reader, Petina57 +, writes (27 January 2016):
 You've not known each other that long really. This sounds like he is there until he finds someone else to take him on. Young love is supposed to be exciting. You are both too young to be miserable. Give it to him straight, have that heart to heart, demand open honest conversation and tell him he is free to leave with your blessing if he doesn't want to make the effort you deserve. Hope this helps
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 January 2016):
 Why do you keep making excuses for him ? And why stay?
I get that at SOME point he was good for you, and you were good for him, but now? It seems like the bad outweigh the good and that is not always something you can fix. Specially if he doesn't accept that he did wrong!
Spying on him, snooping ect. doesn't build trust, it doesn't HELP you. It will only make you feel worse, you will start to believe you HAVE to snoop to control him, but the thing is... IF he wants to act single he will, no amount of spying/snooping will "make" him behave.
I think to some point people (like your BF) keep doing "bad" things in hopes that it will make YOU leave, that way YOU would be the bad guy.
Decide if the guy you are with AS HE IS NOW is something you want to be with or not.
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