A
female
age
36-40,
sammi star
writes:I see a lot of young girls on here who want to become mothers so I thought I'd share a few thoughts on the reality of becoming a teenage mum.I was 16 when I fell pregnant, my boyfriend 18. I'd just finished my GCSE's and planned to go back to school to do my A levels. Although it was terrifying I'll admit I was excited. I couldn't wait to have my own baby and spent my days planning all the things I'd do with her.Going back to school brought me back to earth with a bump. Everyone found out quickly and I expected them to have questions. What I didn't expect was the silence, the whispers and stares as I walked between classes, my peers distancing themselves from me because I was 'different' now. I didn't expect my teachers to be so completely unsupporive when I started missing the first hour or so of morning lessons because I literally couldn't get my head out of the toilet.Of course, my circle of friends shared in my excitement. They couldn't wait to buy little romper suits and plan how they would baby sit all the time. By the end of my pregnancy I was no longer in touch with most of these friends. They gave up inviting me to parties and shopping sprees, couldn't understand that I was constantly too sick and tired to do anything. When my daughter was born I loved her instantly. But that's when the hard work really begins! My mum was supportive of my choice but insisted that I continue with my education. So, when my daughter was 5 weeks old I was at work 4 days a week, college 1 day. I can honestly say it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Of course, this is something many women have to do regardless of age but it truely is very hard. I would be sleeping for only 3 or 4 hours at night, working hard all day and spending my evenings trying to cram in as much time with my daughter as possible while trying to get her washing/bottles etc done.There is NO free time, you can kiss your social life goodbye! Even if you do get the rare offer of a babysitter you either spend your whole time worrying that someone else can't look after your baby as well as you can or, more likely, you don't go at all because you're just far too exhausted! Watching your friends going out, having fun, doing what young people should be doing can really make you realise how much you're missing out on.The personal struggles are difficult but it's also the prejudice you face every single day from people who feel it's their place to make spiteful comments and give you their nasty views on teen parents. No matter how many times you tell yourself to hold your head high and not listen it does get you down to know that people think you're not capable of caring for your own child just because of your age.My daughter is 7 now and things don't get easier. Sure, I can sleep at night but she's at that age now where she asserts her independence a little more everyday and everythings 'not fair' or she's slamming doors and shouting.Her dad and I decided to go our seperate ways when she was 5. That's another thing about becoming parents so early on, I'm not saying it's impossible to have a life long relationship with someone you meet in your teens but it's highly unlikely. You both grow and learn so much that you become 2 completely different people and find that you're no longer suited to each other. I know it doesn't feel that way at the time, we certainly thought back then that we'd be in love forever but it's inevitible that you grow up and change a great deal between your teenage years and your early 20's.Of course I love my daughter more than anything and I wouldn't change her for the world, but it would've been better if she'd come along a few years later.I hope this helps to shed some light on what it;s like to be a teen mum and if it makes even one young girl think twice then it will have been worth taking the time to write.
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female
reader, Youngmummy +, writes (24 August 2009):
 hey i am also a teen mam and thought i would share my story i was only 13 when i fell pregnant and 14 when i gave birth ( i am now 15) when i was pregnant all my friends where like 'oh a cannot wait' or 'they are going to be lovley' (they because i was pregnant with twins!) but they like yours didnot understand that i was tierd or that i had to plan+organise for my twins coming where i live we used to go out just around the parks and that yes i will admit i was a bit of a chav and i am ashamed of them days but at the end of the day i am glad i had fun why i could, they also where like or come shopping but i was short on money so i couldnt and sure anough they slowly drifted away. i only new i was pregnant 2 weeks and it was round the school i was getting spat at by some pupils, some teachers would refuse to have me in my class! the lads would write on the board [my name] what a slag! i left my school within two months it was bringing me down and i got home schooled witch i still do i also have a job and my mum was very suportive i could not have done it without her with only being 13 my twins are now 2 i am lucky and would not change them i have a boy and a girl twins and i am really lucky my boys called [name removed] and my girls called [name removed] they are my world i still live with my mum and when i was pregnant there dad did not want to know and left but i have found a new lad who i have been with for 6 months and he is like a dad to my kids x email me if you want
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