A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:how do you deal with someone who constantly makes excuses for their behaviour as though they are trying to test just how far they can push you? Example, they didnt email you back for a week as they said they didnt check their emails, or they dont turn up when they say they will. The minute you start to not bother with them they want to know you again. If you stick to your guns and dont give in to them will this behaviour eventually stop? What are you supposed to do about it? Is the person insecure?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): I agree, whats the point in wasting your time on someone who doesn't respect you, and knows what they're doing hurts you? I think its time to give him a bit of own treatment and see how he likes being the one who is getting used!
A
female
reader, kayla20 +, writes (20 August 2009):
 maybe not insecure but just doesnt know how to treat you properly sounds to me like you deserve better however ignoring someone is probably one of the worst things which is why they contact you back treating someone mean keeps them keen.you need to find out if the person is actually interested ina relationship with you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): Oh my god, sounds just like my ex...pretended he hadn't read my emails or facebook messages for days or atall even though id see that hed been on facebook, didn't reply to messages for hours, if i missed his call and rang back he wouldnt answer and would leave it ages before ringing back. I think a bit of both could be the answer here-he's just not that into you and he knows that so you are into him so he enjoys playing these little games with you coz it makes him feel good about himself.
Insecure? Yes. A control freak? Yes. It will only stop if you dont ever bother emailing, texting or calling him first-then he will probably initiate contact first but he will do it when he feels like. Someone who's into you wouldnt do this. I know exactly how you feel, my ex knew he had the upper hand coz i loved him like crazy n would chase after him when he didn't reply, so I tried the game of not contacting him or texting him back for hours and he did chase me for a bit but then I just thought why do I even want to live my life playing these games.
That is what you need to think. A healthy relationship is easy, you contact each other because you like, love and think about one another-it's that simple. Anything else is not even worth the bother!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): Listen to all the advise they are consistant. I know when you love the person its difficult to just walk away - in the long run you are better off. Been there got hurt and decided I could not do this any longer.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (20 August 2009):
Its all about control. Dont try to be with a person like this, you will only get hurt. People like this will continue to play games. I have had two ex bfs like this. Each of which continued to play games like this with me for 2 years. You should walk away and cut contact- save yourself from the pain.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): I agree with Honeypie, back away!
I had a guy do this with me for MONTHS (yes, months!) In the end I was fed up with trying to get it to go somewhere, so I just stopped initiating contact, and when he tried to talk to me I was as least responsive as possible. He eventually got the picture.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 August 2009):
 I think more controlling then insecure. He might claim he didn't read his e-mail, but if he has an ounce of interest in you he will check it more often then that.
Or, maybe he just isn't that into you.
Personally, I would back away, and turn my back.
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