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male
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*dude
writes: Hi,I am a 23 yrs old male. I feel my relationship with my family has shattered and I see no point of reconciliation. It all started when my family went through a bad face when my brother's engagement broke up. It was nightmare for my brother and parents and they couldn't handle the situation properly. For me, I had never seen my parents run so much miserable and it made me feel depressed. I just couldn't digest that such a small thing (for me it was not a big thing) could take away all the happiness from a family. Also I was angry about the way some of my family members dealt with the issue. I started visualizing my future and was scared if something similar was to happen with me, I would be under the attack from all the people as well.Moreover, round about the same time, I came to know that my parents had sexual relationship problems. This shattered all my dreams of having a happy marriage with a single partner. My parents have been having constant conflicts and the atmosphere at my home is always tense. Also, they are not considerate about the influence they have on the other members in the family. This has made me lose faith in all kind of relationships. I do not trust them anymore. What do I do?
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female
reader, jess18maine  +, writes (30 July 2005):
 Don't ever lose faith in love hun! Well you did not really let on to what happened with you brother and this girl but I don't thing what happen has anything to do with your parents and theres sons relationships should not get them all worked up and DEPRESSED towards life. Whatever happened happened between him and his women, and that does not mean that theres no hope for anyone else, it will work out for him and he'll find sumone else of make if work with her. So i don't really understand what you want advice on but it sounds as though your not all the symphtic for your brothers situation and if thats the case I'm not either, he'll make it out just fine everyone goes thought heart ach and break ups. I think your parents might just be alittle to involved, if a break up can ruin the whole family, come on thats alittle over board. It kind of sounds like a mom's buy thing. So are your parents mad at you because you dont feel for him or what? you can get back to me if you want and with more info i can give better advice. I just don't see how your familys made at you if its not evevn ur relationship that shattered. I think maybe your right and you should wait for them to come and reconcile with you, but like i said you did not say why there mad at you. your parents are way to involved in your brother relationship, they should care, but not be consummed with it, dont they know that there son will experience lose and heartach(s)? everyone does its normal. no one should get down about sumone elses relationship, how could his love life ruin a family? this is his thing and no ones elses. If sumthing similar to this situation does happen to you lets just hope you keep it between you and your partner, its okay to involve your parents for support, but not for them to actually go thought your pain as well.
Just because your parents are going through a rough spot in there marriage does not mean there not in love and it also does not mean you wont have love, like i said before sumone elses relationship should have no affect on your own, and i think they let ur brothers relationship control theres. theres not much u can do or say besides that you love them and hope they can make it through it. "Everyones relationship is differnt, because everyone brings in different personaltys to the mix." Your parents having relationship problems does not mean you and your women would. I think maybe people should start minding there own business in your family. Most people in there lives go though about 20 or more break ups, so is your family going to fall aprat with every reak up you will have in the future as well? I think your readding way to far into this and need to just back off, this is a thing for your parents to work out. and if they cant work it out it does not mean its the end of the world of the end to love nationwide, theres still a chance 4 you. it sad to say but ppl do fall out of love, but its just another thing to over come in life. Everyone will mkae it, and it will make you all stronger and wiser in the end. My parents have been divored for a few years now, and I'm still i love with my man, and I know my parents still love me just as much even though they dont feel the same towards each other, it's impossiable to fall out of love w/ your kids. no one said lofe was going to be easy nor perfect. Just hang in there, everything will turn out fine in the end, dont worry so much it causes wrinkles and ur only 23? Keep faith... always! and have faith in your mom and dad to work it out, i bet they have had problems b4 all married couples do, this is probably just the only one you know about. Be strong, were all made strong.
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