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male
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*eterogers
writes: Hi there,I'm a 25 year old male, and at the start of this week my girlfriend (21) broke up with me. We'd been going out for nearly 3 months but it had felt like a lot longer. Both of us had talked quite a lot about the future and both of us had felt that this was really something special and much better than anything in our pasts. Only a month or so after we started she took me up north to meet her entire family for her birthday weekend, I was the first guy even to meet her parents (though she's had several in the past including a couple serious).She says that although she still really cares for me, really likes me, is attracted to me, the physical stuff is all good, sees me as a great friend, and I treat her better than anyone ever has, she doesn't think there's a spark, and she sees me more as a friend than a boyfriend.What can I do? I really want her back, I think maybe she needs some time and space to realise she's made the wrong choice, but is there anything I can do to help her realise that without pressuring her? I think perhaps the problem is the last couple weeks she's been ill and I've been moving house and we've concentrated more on comfort than romance. I don't want to make things harder for her but we were really good together and I hate the idea of not being with her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): RE: My girlfriend dumped me because there was no spark
Alas, I have no answers....because EXACTLY the same thing has happened to me!!! I was dumped three months to the day we started going out on 11th December 2007. She told me that I was really attractive, amazing, wonderful etc. but that she didn't feel "the spark" and that that was the reason for her ending it. She stills wants to be my friend, teach me to drive, give me my Christmas presents, hang out, go to the cinema....
....so confusing! She told me her parents were upset and that her mum had told her it'll be her loss....it was only a month ago she told me that she loved me and we were making vague plans for the future. I tried to change her mind but she was adamant. I asked her if she had ever wanted to stay in touch with her exes and she said no because she hadn't ever really gotten on with them.
I don't know what to do. I was listening to The Cure, but that was a mistake. Instead I recommend "I don't like it but I guess things happen that way" by Johnny Cash....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2006): hi am 13 and i was dumped by my boyfriend a couple of months ago so i no how you feel i wanted to get over him but i couldnt do a bit of flirting with some one and she will come running back coz it worked for me
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A
female
reader, jess18maine  +, writes (30 July 2005):
 The only thing to do is be her friend. Maybe your right she just needs time to see what she's missing,(you). You need to just leave the subject you you two closed untill she wants to open just mkae her aware that you still have feelings for her and leave it at that. Let her come to you, otherwise you'll never really know if shes there full hearted or not because you pressured her and kept hounding her to come back to you. Maybe this is just a rough spot in your relationship because of her being ill and u moving, but thats sumthing you'll have to wait and find out. Just like everything else in life patience is needed in relationships too. Don't hold on to her forever, if you see her moving on then, thats your hint to do the same, just remember your True Love is awaiting for you sumwhere. Good Luck Hun, you seem like a great guy.
I left my boyfriend because I did not feel that spark either, but I went back because I did not feel that spark without him. I went back so maybe she will too, I just needed time to see what I wanted. It took me a few weeks, it may take her longer or maybe its really not there for her. Don't hold out and wait for her forever. Just try to move on thinking it's over, with hope that its not. Just stay single for while. See what lifes all about alone, and take time to get to know you. Best of luck 2 u!
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