A
female
 ,
*ecret
writes:my husband sister lives in india. she is bedridden for the past 10 years due to an accident. her family have tried to bring her to london but no luck. now there are saying that there is only one way possible. my husband surname is different to her so they are asking to divorce my husband so that he could go to india and marry his sister and come back to london and sponsor her. then he will divorce her and marry me again. i dont know what to do. i dont want to get the blame if anything happens to her if i refuse. but if i agree to this how will my life be affected by this?please help. i need answers.
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, secret +, writes (9 December 2006):
secret is verified as being by the original poster of the question they havent made an application for her with the immigration. my husband changed his name 15 years ago. all his papers states that he has a totally different family. there is no way that the authority could link him with his sister.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2006):
Maybe stay divorced and save yourself the 250 and the liability for fraud.
I still dont see how he/she will get away with this. Wasn't he listed as a sponsor with a relationship on her original application for immigration?
...............................
A
female
reader, secret +, writes (7 December 2006):
secret is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for all your answer. to answer to everyone's question, when my husband came to london he had to come under his aunt's name. all his certificate states that he is the aunt's son. so i dont think that his papers will be a problem. i said that if my husband is willing to do it then it's fine with me but i still dont know if they have talked to my husband about this. wether he has agreed or not. if i ask them if they have talked about this, they will think that i am eager to divorce him.
the reason i said ok for this is because they are saying there is no other way and if she doesnt come then i might leave him anyway at the end. we have been sending them money for the past 10 years. we send them £250 every month. if she doesnt come to london then i dont think i can continue to send her money all my life.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006):
1. Ethically I dont think you should do it. The appropriate governmental officials have examined her case and decided not to grant her admission. Who are you to circumvent their authority?
2. How will he even get a certificate to marry the sister? Wont it be obvious when the they list the parents on the document?
3. Isnt his name all over the application that she all ready made for admission to the country as a sponsoring party? How dumb will the officials have to be to see that this is the same person who is already in their files as his sister?
4. What timeframe will this take place over? In the US they do investigate these "green card" marriages. If he divorces you, marries her, then divorces her and remarries you it is completely transparent to anyone what has happened.
5. Since since she disabled and plans to go immediately on public services, you may be liable for the fraud.
I think you need an "appeal to authority" or these people will keep trying to wear you down. Say that you have discussed it with your family and they have forbidden any divorce. If they dont respect your family, I guess you know where you stand with this group.
...............................
A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (7 December 2006):
 It has already been pointed out that this is illegal and many things can go wrong. Yet I know how pushy family can get and they will make you feel like the bad guy.
If you do get pushed into this, make sure you have a legal documents stating everything you need will be taken care of just in case something doesn't go right, you should be able to do this in the divorce papers. Include spousal support, housing, transportation and child support if you have children. You would have to talk to a lawyer about all of this, just make it iron clad, and get yourself more protection then is logically needed. Don't agree to anything until you have everything in writing, and you feel safe.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): I don't think this is a very good idea. Firstly, what if the authorities find out what has happened? Who will be to blame. You may be dragged in on this with serious consequences. Secondly, if they do find out you may not be able to marry him again.
How is he going to get a divorce? "Oh we couldn't consumate the relationship because she is my sister" sorry to sound so cynical but i don't like the sound of this one. You are treading a thin line if you think you can trick the authorities and get away with it.
He might not want to remarry you! Then what would you do??
Do take care and i wish you well in your decision.
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Ivanna22 +, writes (7 December 2006):
 I know it's not easy to do this but maybe it's the right thing. I really don't think your life would be affected in any bad way if you do this. If your husband really loves you, then he will marry you back right away. I'm pretty sure that if you don't do it everyone's going to be upset with you. I think you should do it and there's nothing to worry about because if he loves you h'll marry you back and everything will b the same again. Is he willing to do this thought? If it's just his family and not him, then let him decide. Don't get your self involved. Tell him that if this is the only way then that you're willing to help him and his sister.
...............................
|
