A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hi. I work in an office where people seem to just talk about personal things. And most of them are backstabbers and spread rumors about their "friends" here.I'm totally different. I know about three people here that I talk about person things with and I'm usually working during the day so I talk to them only like several times a week.There are several people around here that keep coming up to me and saying "you're so quiet!" and "you're quiet as a church mouse!" One woman even said "you're so quiet, I guess *men* like that sort of thing." --like she was trying to rile me up or something!Whenever they say these things, I just say that I'm busy working and don't have time to socialize while at work. What I would really like to say back is "you're so loud! you never stop talking!" or "why would I talk to you? you're just going to twist what I say to make me sound like I'm some kind of ignorant jerk off!" The only problem is that I'm not that kind of person - I don't want to cause problems here and give anyone anything to say about me.I know that this problem isn't like a huge one compared to what a lot of people write to you guys about, but it's freaking annoying because it happens almost everyday! Does anyone have any suggestions of what I can say to these people? I feel like giving them all a shaking when they barge in my office just to say these things!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2006): If you hear someone talking about you, here's a phase that would really get them "With Friends Like You, I Don't Need Enemie's."
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for all of your reponses! Seems as though I can't do much more than I am now. Hopefully they'll stop once they've realized I'm not going to be like them (although I'm not holding my breath). Thanks again!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): dont take any notice of them, so what if your quiet, why the hell should it matter to them, just be yourself and keep yourself to yourself, let them say whatever they want,you get these sort of people everwhere im afraid, your there to work unlike these people who obviously choose to gossip,your better than them so dont worry. its better being quiet than a loud mouth anyway, the world and its wife probably knows all their business, dont stoop to their level. good luck. x
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female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (7 December 2006):
 These people are trying to entice you to lower to their standards. Let them bitch about what they want and ignore it. If you take the bate and retaliate it may agravate the situation and give them amunition to bitch about you.
They obviously do not have enough work to do.
You could send them to my office and I am sure I could keep them busy.
Unfortunately, office politics is a common problem is most work environments.
Whatever smart answer you give them, they will find a way to have a pop!
Best way to react when they pick on your silence is to look into their eyes and just SMILE.
Lots of hugs xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): well i have the same problem at work,besides my problem is worse coz iam the youngest at work and people expect me to go upto them n start spreadin rumours. i do hear them sayin that iam quiet n i dont mix up and all that stuff, i just feel that it doesnt suit my personality and even if they dont like me i still go the professional way.i think u are just doin ok
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): Well, dear..you are doing exactly what I would recommend you do. You are staying out of all the BS. This is a job, you keep behaving professional, stay gracious, polite but detach your emotions and feelings and carry on.
Backstabber and gossips, are everywhere in our lives. Many of them are insecure people who have their own personal disappointments and frustrations. However, being that way still shouldn't give them license to be cruel or enjoy the pain of others. People like this do display the least admirable qualities of a human being..it's a loss to them as people. Sad isn't it? So take heart...you cannot do anything about changing these people..you can just keep on being strong and ignoring all their crap. You have detached and you are doing the right thing-you are ignoring it all. Do your job..that's what you are there to do. Just keep being gracious and nice to everyone around you-who knows, they may finally look at themselves and realize that tearing down others are very "empty moments' of personal glory that stems from their own feelings of inferiority. They have the problem...leave it with them and just do your job.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): I think you are doing ok as you are. Keeping yourself to yourself around these people is the best way around it. They can't accuse you of saying anything out of term or bad. That is why they try to provoke you, they don't get a response and probably won't ever give up. I personally would have to tell them to get lost, but you don't sound like that. Just be yourself and ignore them. Chin waggers!
Take care
xxx
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