A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Today i came home early from class and overheard my wife and one of her friends discussing a guy "friend" she has. She has told me many times that they were always just friends and that was it, well today she was talking about how he told her he was going to marry her and that he wanted to be with her and they had made plans to marry when they got older before she met me and that he was very pissed at her for marrying me, she said that being with him had always been her plan and that when he calls or texts her that she just tells me its him and i dont have a problem with it but that I didnt know their whole past. When i walked in and confronted her about this "Friend" she became quite defensive and told me I was being immature! I personally dont think i am but i would like some feedback on if I should let this go and it's just her past or should i continue to be concerned about this "friend"
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010): It probably flatters her ego a little that he wanted to marry her and its still on her mind. Hence shes still talking about it now. She wasnt totally honest to you about her relationship with him from the start or you would have known everything anyway. So she had been out of order with you.
Ask her to delete his number and stop having contact with him now and promise her you will say no more about it. Im sure as the annon reader posted....had the roles been reversed, she would have would have found it a major issue!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2010): Imagine if the genders were reversed and you were the one with the old female friend.
I am pretty sure the term "immature" would not be in the conversation. And the term "emotional affair" would be.
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A
female
reader, purplewasabi  +, writes (23 March 2010):
 I think you should trust your wife to tell you the truth. If you truly love her you will listen to her when she says this friend is not who she wants. As said, keep reminding yourself that it is YOU that she chose ! Make sure you don't push her away with paranoia. Good luck!
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