A
female
age
30-35,
*andabaaby
writes:Dear Cupid and All readers;This is a question about my twin sister, not about I. I'm 17 and my twin sister is pregnant. I'm so excited to be an Auntie, but I'm also scared for her. Her boyfriend is only 16 and he's already an alcoholic. He treats her like s.h.i.t and I absolutely hate it!! It pisses me off and just makes me want to break down and cry. She moved back home she was living in the city of Sault st. Marie and moved back home, her boyfriend came up for the march break and is going back to the city. I let him use my computer and my computer saves chat logs. I found one where he was telling this other girl that hes hot and say xoxoxo. He treats my sister like crap, and now broke up with her so he can go back to the city, they have broken up before but my sister is pregnant and is very emotional and confused. I just keep telling her that he's playing a game. But honestly what should she do, I'm so scared that he's going to run off and leave her with the baby. Of course she has all of us and I already know how to handle a baby since I have 2 little boys but its just soo upsetting. Any advice that I can give to her?Thanks Ladies and Gents-Mandabaaby
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): I am the poster of the first (kind of harsh) response.
I'm sorry if some of you felt that my tone crossed the line. Maybe I made it sound too much like that's the only way to view the situation. Not what I intended.
I've just seen a bunch of these situations in my own life and the pattern is so clear it's heartbreaking. I mostly meant what I said to be a splash of cold water on the face of the questioner.
I think that unfortunately some relationships and choices and actions are simply not defensible. Even if we want very much to defend and support the loved one who is doing them.
The sooner the girl's loved ones start quietly having these kinds of uncomfortable thoughts, the sooner the seriousness of the situation will sink in with everyone around her. That's the best chance for action to improve things.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (13 March 2008):
 I think it's best if he does leave. Her child doesn't need such people in his/her life like that. I'm sure yall will do fine. Just talk to her and comfort her fears. I'm sure everything will work out alright in the end. Counseling could help as well. Maybe family counseling.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): I'm sorry this doesn't exactly apply to your question, all I can really suggest is that you and the rest of your family support your sister as much as you possibly can and I think that it would be for the best if the father was kept out of your lives because he doesn't sound fit to be a father anyway. But what I really wanted to do is apologise for the answer below, some of the aunt on this site should really keep their thoughts to themselves.
On a site like this, people are looking for sensitive, helpful answers and often they seem to get responses that would be quite hurtful to read. In my opinion, these shouldn't be allowed to be put forward, after all the are supposed to be screened before they go on the site anyway. So, I'm sorry that you had to recieve such a hurtful, insensitive and unhelpful answer.
Feel free to message me xxx
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A
female
reader, mandabaaby +, writes (13 March 2008):
mandabaaby is verified as being by the original poster of the question NO she is incapable of having an abortion. I think it will all be okay because by the time the baby is born, she wont give a f**k about the guy and will have no time to ever think about him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): She is ruining her life and there's nothing you can do about it. The only hope of anything might be if your parents took her away from this guy and physically moved her to another state or something right away. Keep her 100% out of contact with the BF for long enough and it might eventually begin to break the spell he has over her. I don't know anything else to suggest. Your sister has basically been rendered mentally unfit. She's no longer in a rational position to even be making decisions about her own relationship, let alone having a child this way. She should be forced to have an abortion, plain and simple. (I know this will get me flamed, but it's the truth.)
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