A
male
age
51-59,
Anonymousmale1
writes:In past I have discussed the "L" words, meaning "love" and "like" and their meaning in the relationships you've had or currently have. Today I would like to discuss a sentence that will, well, leave you spellbound if it ever comes out of the mouth of any man that you are dating or have dated.Men are very proud creatures and to go along with that pride we carry around we like to think that we can control any and every situation that present itself. Many, many men have lost women that they knew in their hearts were the perfect mate for them because they refused to tell them exactly what she needed to hear. They refused to bow and put their pride to the side in order to make their hearts happy.There is nothing as awkward as seeing a grown man cry over a woman, it's not pretty I must confess and it occurs more than most women could possibly imagine. Please don't be so cynical in your views of men to believe that no man has ever shed a tear for the loss of a relationship with you. Because I can assure you that at least one has, maybe even more.Unfortunately, men generally chose to suffer in silence. They tend to keep things bottled up and try to drown their heartbroken sorrow in alcohol or worse. It amazes me that more people don't understand that regardless of how you attempt to mask your suffering, by utilizing drink or worse drugs, you only compound the problem. Not to mention, when the effects wear off, she's still gone. Uh!I once wrote a post where I described the emotions people go through when suffering heartbreak. Many of you commented on this description for its honesty and candor. One visitor asked me how I could so vividly describe how women feel during these unsettling moments of hurt and anguish. Well, its because I've suffered my share of heartbreaks as well over the years. What, you thought women had a monopoly on being heartbroken?However, I learned my lessons and judging by the amount of years I've been married I feel I benefited from those earlier failures. Yep, love teaches us all and what we learn is more important than the heartbreaks we suffer in the process because it makes us into the people we will eventually be in life.I often tell my wife that she received the finished product, molded by many women over the years and a much better man for it. At least I hope so.Back to those powerful words that you are so interested in knowing. Most men have this idea that simply telling you that he loves you will cure any and everything that ails your relationship. That's why so many men are so hell bent against utilizing these words. They feel if by saying them so soon and much it diminishes its meaning. Unfortunately, they also want to save it for when they really need it to keep you from leaving them. It works right? Well sometimes anyway.However, there is one thing that all women want to hear that few men know about. Its a phrase that truly comes from the heart, with honesty and commitment. Because of the over usage of "I love you" , this is definitely a head turner and its something that we all need to hear both women and men alike from the people we love.I've told my wife this over the years and I generally get a very positive reaction. However, I tell her this because as with all people its something we need to hear but not too often as a sign of respect and appreciation.Last week I was laying on the couch as usual after a hard day of work and flipping through the channels I stopped on a Kevin Costner movie, one of my favorites. I hadn't seen it in years and relaxed to take it all in. Maybe you've seen it before, if not it's a very good movie for both men and women. It's called, "For the Love of the game".However, I must caution you that as with all of his movies it's quite long. The storyline for this movie is about an aging baseball pitcher who happens to meet a beautiful woman (Kelly Preston) after her car broke down. During the movie Costner's character while pitching a game in Yankee Stadium is reflecting on his life and relationship with Preston whom at the time of the game is at the Airport about to depart and start her life in London.Costner reflects on their meeting, their ups and downs over a five year period. At one point, Preston informs Costner that he doesn't need her. She says that all he needs is the ball and the diamond and everything is perfect when he's on the mound. Costner thinks about it because this is all he has known for almost his entire life, since his father first placed a ball in his hands.With her at the airport about to depart the U.S., he pitches the game of his life, a perfect game. However, on what should have been the happiest day of his life he had no one to share it with. I don't want to spoil this beautiful movie for those of you who may want to check it out.But, what I can tell you is this, in the end he uttered what could be considered the most powerful words any man can tell a woman. He didn't tell her he loved her because she already knew that. He said, "I need you". Everyone wants to be needed however, few men tell women this even though they know it to be true.We need you to help us to become better people, better men, better fathers and husbands. These are not things we can do without the assistance of women like you. Men for whatever reason don't tell women they love this important statement even though by informing you of this could make the difference between you staying or leaving.This statement is a testimony to exactly how much you mean to him and that your contributions haven't gone unnoticed. It tells you that he knows that he is a better person because you are in his life and that together you two can accomplish anything. It also shows that if you leave him now, he's going to be crushed and if you didn't know it before I explained it above, he will be heartbroken and the tears he sheds will be for you. Or rather the lack of you.Now, if whatever he did or didn't do to get to the point where he told you he needs you wasn't too bad, just maybe you could possibly give him another chance, please? We all make mistakes and none of us are actually perfect even if we think at times we are.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (30 August 2011):
 i continue to be in awe of the magnificent contributions of anonymousmale1. His wisdom is immense. Another article I will recommend along with his other wonderful articles. The words are SO TRUE.
Thank you
Abella
A
female
reader, Beaurosie  +, writes (16 August 2011):
I think this article is brilliant and so true. I left my husband after 26 years because he actually spent a lot of time telling me that he could live perfectly well on his own.. deep down I believe this was not true but I got tired of being pushed away with the nasty remarks. Once after I had been away for a couple of weeks on my return I asked him "did you miss me" and he replied "well it will be easier now your back cos you can do the washing up". I realized after that my husband has a Passive/aggressive personality and I was continually being punished in small ways for some grievance he had with me. I am still grieving now from the loss of love and the hurt I suffered over the years and yet strangely I still love him but there is no going back this time.
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A
female
reader, erinroxanne +, writes (4 August 2011):
i think this has some truth. my boyfriend cried many times in front of me. and when i broke up with him because i said we were better off best friends as we were in the beginning, he talked it out, remaining somewhat calm and then asked me to leave and i was like i have no ride we can just hang right now as friends. then he said no cause all i wanna do is kiss you hold you and tell you i love you, at this point he was getting all shook up. he went in his bathroom, i forced him to open the door and i found him sobbing and when i came in and told him its okay here have a hug were still friends he refused and asked for one last kiss and i said no and he said i dont wanna hug you itll just make me sad. he started bawling. like more than crying. he was just looking at me not making crying noises, but with tears streaming down his face. and saying i love you i love you i love you. but you have to leave its killing me. we then went back in his room and sat on his bed and he said go away and i said why and hes like cause i feel like igonna kiss you (our faces were really close) and so i kissed him and he mini gasped and it was literally one of the strongest things ive seen a guy do. he just shamelessly admitted his feelings and i realized i was wrong. sorry long ass paragraph, but i felt it contributed to yours. its true that women should realize men at times act a certain way to impress us.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (4 August 2011):
 I love this article :). I can't wait for someone to say it to me one day.
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